New Rule: I don't give two fingleberries and a McShit-all that Dumbledore is gay. I never wanted to know who Dumbledore was… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
We learned this week that Mitt Romney is building a car elevator in his house. An elevator for your cars. I get… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
When did the business community in America become so sensitive? ... that we have to treat like some type of rare exotic… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
White people have always shown their superiority over blacks with their feet, moving out of black neighborhoods with the fear that their… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Why is monotheistic faith better than polytheistic? I mean, either you believe - if you believe in, like, a magic person who… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Republicans stand by their convictions. Stupid, ignorant, world-destroying convictions based on disproven economic fantasies and ancient books full of primitive morality and… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
A lot of people say they are dyslexic; some have to realize that they are just stupid. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I saw this anti-drug commercial that showed a kid smoking pot in his dad`s room with his friend. This kid finds a gun, the… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
To all conservative women out there: If you are so sure the embryo needed for stem cell research are precious human life that can't… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
You see, the difference is the Republicans' hatred of Obama is based on a paranoid feeling about what he might do, what he's thinking,… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
New Rule: There is no devil, so stop blaming your screw-ups on him. Last week, one of the biggest evangelical leaders in America, the… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
If we were a dog and God owned us, the cops would come and take us away. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“New Rule: The White House doesn't have to release the dead Bin Laden photos, but don't pretend we can't take it. We've seen pictures… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I don't hate America. I love America. I want it to be better. The only way we can get it to be better is… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“New Rule: Americans must realize what makes NFL football so great: socialism. That's right, the NFL takes money from the rich teams and gives… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
