“A blanket could be used to crack the code of love. What is it, where do I find it, and how much… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Love is like building a wall with two bricks and a ton of wind. Obviously you and your lover are bricks. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I need love. Here’s a list of other things I need: eggs, butter, flour, and sugar. I’m making a cake for the… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If love had an exact location, it would be the spot where silence meets noise. Love balances the calm and the chaotic… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Everybody loves you, but not as much as me. I love you more than any single person, and all the single people… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I don’t demand much. All I expect is for you to love me so much you kill yourself just to get my… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If there’s a 50% chance of rain, I guess it means it’ll be half sunny. Relationships are similar, with my love being… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I made love with a cute woman yesterday. I would have made love with a gorgeous woman, but she was more expensive.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Wrapped inside one is love. Wrapped inside another is hate. What do you think is wrapped inside the third? If you answered… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“You and I have a love so secret that not even you know about it. But first, let me introduce myself.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Love is like being featherless in mid flight and not even wondering if you taste like chicken. My love must taste like… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Love is like a free lunch. You won’t find any in this life, because I had yours for breakfast.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“My voice is raspy, like Rasputin’s beard. My love is like a mustache hidden in a patch of armpit hair. Come, feel… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If trees had love, instead of leaves, I’d gladly rake you into a pile on my lawn and fall into you.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I don’t know how to say it without saying it, so I’ll just not say it. Or I could show it, because… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If love had four legs and fur, would you try to pet it, chase it, or serve it up as chicken lo… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“My love is as loud as it can be while still being silent. Would you describe our relationship as Helen Kelleresque” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Love is you wearing her favorite shirt of yours, just like you did yesterday and the day before. And the day before… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to make love better. Faster isn’t always better. Don’t you want to make love better? ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I make love like a lump of cold oatmeal. I apologize if that mental image excites you and makes you hunger for… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I am the sphinx of love. But I didn’t used to be. I used to be a sphink—which has the head of… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If love felt like furry sandpaper, would you ever be able to leave my nipples alone? This handyman has a hands-off policy,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Love is yesterday’s tomorrow, minus the frozen musical notes, soggy teabags, and political opposition from your own embryonic offspring.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If you carry all my love, it won’t get heavy and make you weak. In fact, my love will give you strength.… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“In the throes of passion, I threw out an I love you. Did I mean it? Does a dictionary mean what it… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“We made love like oysters, and then we ate oysters. Then we made love like two people sitting on opposite ends of… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I’m going to count to three, and if you’re not on number four by the time I’m done, I’m going to continue… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I would give you all my love, but I’m afraid I’d get nothing in return. And coming from you, nothing is simply… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Woman, I could drown in your love, but I’d much rather be strangled. More passionate, don’t you agree?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I write like I make love: alone in my bathtub, as I let the fantasy overflow and wash over me.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Question for your life: Let’s say we’re making love on the moon, and my clone decides to show up. Would you tell… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“He’s half blind,” Orafoura said. “Oh,” I said, “he’s only got one eye? They call that a Cyclops.” “No, he’s got two eyes,”… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I won’t bring you a single rose to be romantic, but I will point out that our relationship itself is the rose,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I’m a person, you’re a person, and we should make love. That is, if you’re a person who’s also roughly ½ of… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Water is like love, but love is not like water. No, because if it were, I’d be the camel of love.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I keep my love in the trunk. And I drive slowly over speed bumps, so she doesn’t bump her head around.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I have seen the deadly effects of love first hand, and I have seen them with my second hand (the left one).” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If love were a porch light, I’d be the moth. And you’d be the freshly-pressed pants I’m dying to eat.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The couch was wide enough for two, but I sat in it alone. Was I obese in body—or skinny in love?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“We made love like Tuesday at noon, even though it was Thursday at 3:00, and then again at 3:03. (I have the… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“Orafoura once told me that if I were a car, I’d be a Ferrari. One that was scratched smashed, rusted, and stolen.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“What makes a good leader? I ask myself this every day, and then as I begin to list off characteristics I realize I’m describing… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“I’d like to file a missing person’s report—on my clone. It’s nearly 2012. He should have been here by now.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
