English humor is hard to appreciate, though, unless you are trained to it. The English papers, in reporting my speeches, always put… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Laughter is the greatest weapon we have and we, as humans, use it the least. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The political and commercial morals of the United States are not merely food for laughter, they are an entire banquet. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The old man laughed loud and joyously, shook up the details of his anatomy from head to foot, and ended by saying… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Will a day come when the race will detect the funniness of these juvenilities and laugh at them—and by laughing at them… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I pity the fellow who has to create a dialect or paraphrase the dictionary to get laughs. I can't spell, but I… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The old man laughed loud and joyously, shook up the details of his anatomy from head to foot, and ended by saying… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Laughter without a tinge of philosophy is but a sneeze of humor. Genuine humor is replete with wisdom. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The human race has only one really effective weapon and that is laughter. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The ordinary chestnut can beget a sickly and reluctant laugh, but it takes a horse chestnut to fetch the gorgeous big horse-laugh. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Happiness ain't a thing in itself -it's only a contrast with something that ain't pleasant. And so, as soon as the novelty… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Only laughter can blow [a colossal humbug] to rags and atoms at a blast. Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
It used to take me all vacation to grow a new hide in place of the one they flogged off me during… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching, and live like its heaven on earth. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
If you had made the acquiring of ignorance the study of your life, you could not have graduated with higher honor than you could… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“The Creator sat upon the throne, thinking. Behind him stretched the illimitable continent of heaven, steeped in a glory of light and color; before… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
A man accustomed to American food and American domestic cookery would not starve to death suddenly in Europe, but I think he would gradually… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I never write Metropolis for seven cents because I can get the same price for city. I never write policeman because I can get… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The higher animals get their teeth without pain or inconvenience. Man gets his through months and months of cruel torture; he will never get… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“As far as I can see, Italy, for fifteen hundred years, has turned all her energies, all her finances, and all her industry to… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Begin with the determination to succeed and the work is half done already. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Many public-school children seem to know only two dates—1492 and 4th of July; and as a rule they don't know what happened on either… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image