I jest, of course; premature ejaculation isn't a laughing matter for anyone, except for your friends when you tell them about it on the phone the next morning. My first marriage ended because the main event was invariably over before… — Julie Burchill Copy Share Image
Contrasting British servicemen and women with the appeasers, it is hard not to laugh. Are these two sides even the same species, let alone the same nationality? On one hand the selflessness and internationalism of the soldiers; on the other… — Julie Burchill Copy Share Image
As a precocious teen I dreamed of being Graham Greene. Well, as it turned out, I never wrote a great novel, sadly, and I… — Julie Burchill Copy Share Image
Being a child is horrible. It is slightly better than being a tree or a piece of heavy machinery but not half as good… — Julie Burchill Copy Share Image
People - and I include myself - get fat because they choose pleasure over self-denial. — Julie Burchill Copy Share Image
In my third husband I had discovered a blissfully laid-back type who thought it nothing less than hilarious when I misread the map on… — Julie Burchill Copy Share Image
I believe, literally, in the God of the Old Testament, whom I understand as the Lord of the Jews and the Protestants. I'm a… — Julie Burchill Copy Share Image
A cynic should never marry an idealist. For the cynic, marriage represents the welcome end of romantic life, with all its agony and ecstasy.… — Julie Burchill Copy Share Image
Surely being a Professional Beauty - let alone an ageing one - is one of the most insecure and doomed careers imaginable. — Julie Burchill Copy Share Image
Can I just say here how much I hate the word 'pamper'? While pretending to celebrate and indulge women, it actually implies that their… — Julie Burchill Copy Share Image
May I just single out for salutations, on the "anti-war" side: Pop Stars For Appeasement, Dancers Against Democracy, Actors For Apathy, Fashionistas For Fascism… — Julie Burchill Copy Share Image
From paying off friends' tax bills to rescuing stray dogs and stuffing £20 notes into the hands of homeless people, I can't get rid… — Julie Burchill Copy Share Image
Nicole Kidman in particular seems to bring out the butt-kisser in the sassiest of hackettes, as they ceaselessly strive to portray her as some… — Julie Burchill Copy Share Image
