If you want sex, have an affair. If you want a relationship, buy a dog. — Julie Burchill Copy Share Image
When a man wants to relax, he will slob out and really relax. Or he will pursue a hobby - anything from… — Julie Burchill Copy Share Image
Sex, on the whole, was meant to be short, nasty and brutish. If what you want is cuddling, you should buy a… — Julie Burchill Copy Share Image
Only those who haven't got the wit to speak for themselves would ever want their clothes to do it for them. — Julie Burchill Copy Share Image
What men don't want, in fact what anyone who's any sort of thrill-seeking, intelligent adult doesn't want, is some crushing bore describing… — Julie Burchill Copy Share Image
A therapist might suggest my generosity is a way of buying affection. But buying people's love has never been an issue for… — Julie Burchill Copy Share Image
As a kid, I grew to define what I didn't want my life to be like by sitting behind moaning women on… — Julie Burchill Copy Share Image
Fact is, famous people say fame stinks because they love it so - like a secret restaurant or holiday island they don't… — Julie Burchill Copy Share Image
Feminism seeks to turn the biggest, bloodiest carnivore in the world - passion - into a right-on cud-chewing vegan. It can never… — Julie Burchill Copy Share Image
As a precocious teen I dreamed of being Graham Greene. Well, as it turned out, I never wrote a great novel, sadly, and I… — Julie Burchill Copy Share Image
Being a child is horrible. It is slightly better than being a tree or a piece of heavy machinery but not half as good… — Julie Burchill Copy Share Image
People - and I include myself - get fat because they choose pleasure over self-denial. — Julie Burchill Copy Share Image
In my third husband I had discovered a blissfully laid-back type who thought it nothing less than hilarious when I misread the map on… — Julie Burchill Copy Share Image
I believe, literally, in the God of the Old Testament, whom I understand as the Lord of the Jews and the Protestants. I'm a… — Julie Burchill Copy Share Image
A cynic should never marry an idealist. For the cynic, marriage represents the welcome end of romantic life, with all its agony and ecstasy.… — Julie Burchill Copy Share Image
Surely being a Professional Beauty - let alone an ageing one - is one of the most insecure and doomed careers imaginable. — Julie Burchill Copy Share Image
Can I just say here how much I hate the word 'pamper'? While pretending to celebrate and indulge women, it actually implies that their… — Julie Burchill Copy Share Image
May I just single out for salutations, on the "anti-war" side: Pop Stars For Appeasement, Dancers Against Democracy, Actors For Apathy, Fashionistas For Fascism… — Julie Burchill Copy Share Image
From paying off friends' tax bills to rescuing stray dogs and stuffing £20 notes into the hands of homeless people, I can't get rid… — Julie Burchill Copy Share Image
Nicole Kidman in particular seems to bring out the butt-kisser in the sassiest of hackettes, as they ceaselessly strive to portray her as some… — Julie Burchill Copy Share Image
