This morning my dad called me up and said, 'So, tonight's your last show, huh.' And I said, 'No, Dad, that's someone… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
Big news from last night's Republican debate, you guys. It turns out George Bush was actually the smart Texas governor. — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
Republican Scott Brown lost his bid for Senate in New Hampshire last night, two years after he was voted out as Senator… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
In an interview last night, Rick Perry criticized Mitt Romney for flip-flopping on the issues. Romney said that Perry has no idea… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
There are reports that leaders from ISIS and al-Qaida met at a farm house in Syria last week, and agreed to work… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
President Obama and Mitt Romney both gave commencement speeches over the last few days. Obama was like, 'You can be whatever you… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
Marco Rubio's presidential campaign has raised $40 million in the last week. When he heard that, Rubio said, 'Hey, any chance I… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
President Obama unveiled a $4 trillion budget for 2016 that would increase taxes on the wealthy and spend more money on education.… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
The big news is the midterm elections. Last night Republicans picked up a dozen seats in the House to give them their… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
I'm on so late I'm definitely the last seconds of anyone's attention. So I just want to give them something dumb to… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
In a two-hour interview last Friday, Bruce Jenner told ABC's Diane Sawyer, 'For all intents and purposes, I'm a woman.' At which… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
Yesterday in Florida, President Obama kissed a woman on the cheek after she told him he looks good. Which explains why last… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
A new survey found that 12 percent of parents punish their kids by banning social networking sites. The other 88 percent punish their kids… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
I read that as marijuana legalization becomes more popular, it could affect the jobs of drug-sniffing dogs. Or as those dogs put it, 'Thanks,… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
NASA is developing space taxis to shuttle astronauts to the International Space Station. And just like New York taxis, they're all going to be… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
In a recent attack ad, the NRA claims that President Obama cares about his own children more than he cares about other children. In… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
After Donald Trump wrote Lindsey Graham's cellphone number on a piece of paper and showed it to everybody, Graham said he's getting a new… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
Yesterday on CNN, Joe Biden said he hasn't made up his mind about whether he'll run for president in 2016. Which raises the question:… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
A clothing company is making T-shirts inspired by Bernie Sanders with messages like 'Feel the Bern.' They were gonna make them for Lincoln Chafee… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
Arizona just became the 15th state to approve medical marijuana. So I give it three days before they stop caring about the whole immigration… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
I became a Yankees fan for a few years. But now, I gotta say, I'm really rooting for the Red Sox. — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
My dream was to grow up and get a job at IBM, like my dad. That seemed like a logical dream. — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
The federal government is starting to plan for climate change by making extended forecasts that can help people plan for extreme weather - because… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
Yesterday, the Supreme Court spent over an hour listening to arguments on whether Obamacare is unconstitutional. Yeah, listening to arguments about Obamacare for an… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
