The reason I'm in this business, I assume all performers are -- it's Look at me, Ma! It's acceptance, you know --… — Lenny Bruce Copy Share Image
You know there's no crooked politicians. There's never a lie because there is never any truth. — Lenny Bruce Copy Share Image
I tried the religion scam in Miami, so I know how hard that gig is. But, if you can get it to… — Lenny Bruce Copy Share Image
Now a Jew, in the dictionary, is one who is descended from the ancient tribes of Judea, or one who is regarded… — Lenny Bruce Copy Share Image
Koolaid is goyish. All Drake's Cakes are goyish. Pumpernickel is Jewish, and, as you know, white bread is very goyish. Instant potatoes… — Lenny Bruce Copy Share Image
I know what "custody" [of the children] means. "Get even." That's all custody means. Get even with your old lady. — Lenny Bruce Copy Share Image
Never tell. Not if you love your wife...In fact, if your old lady walks in on you deny it. Yeah. Just flat… — Lenny Bruce Copy Share Image
“…Catholicism is like Howard Johnson, and what they have are these franchises and they give all these people different franchises in the… — Lenny Bruce Copy Share Image
Satire is tragedy plus time. You give it enough time, the public, the reviewers will allow you to satirize it. Which is rather ridiculous,… — Lenny Bruce Copy Share Image
I would be with a bunch of Kennedy fans watching the debate, and their comment would be, 'He's really slaughtering Nixon.' Then we would… — Lenny Bruce Copy Share Image
If you're from New York and you're Catholic, you're still Jewish. If you're from Butte Montana and you're Jewish, you're still goyisch. The Air… — Lenny Bruce Copy Share Image
Alright, let's admit it, we Jews killed Christ - but it was only for three days. — Lenny Bruce Copy Share Image
Dig: I'm Jewish. Count Basie's Jewish. Ray Charles is Jewish. Eddie Cantor's goyish. B'nai B'rith is goyish; Hadassah, Jewish. If you live in New… — Lenny Bruce Copy Share Image
I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We used to write essays like: What I'm going to… — Lenny Bruce Copy Share Image
“Take away the right to say ‘fuck’ and you take away the right to say ‘fuck the government.” — Lenny Bruce Copy Share Image
![“I know what "custody" [of the children] means. "Get even." That's all custody means. Get even with your old lady.” quote by Lenny Bruce](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/199/lenny-bruce-4320_children_i-know-what-custody-of-the-children-mean_2889146.jpg)
