A lot of people say to me, 'Why did you kill Christ?' I dunno, it was one of those parties, got out… — Lenny Bruce Copy Share Image
The liberals can understand everything but people who don't understand them. — Lenny Bruce Copy Share Image
Let me tell you the truth: The truth is what is. And what should be is a fantasy a terrible, terrible lie… — Lenny Bruce Copy Share Image
Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God. — Lenny Bruce Copy Share Image
Wouldn't it be nice if all the people who are lonesome could live in one big dormitory, sleep in beds next to… — Lenny Bruce Copy Share Image
I've been accused of bad taste, and I'll go down to my grave accused of it and always by the same people,… — Lenny Bruce Copy Share Image
You got a million drug laws now because the bosses figured there was more money in putting people in jail than taxing… — Lenny Bruce Copy Share Image
You are a white. The Imperial Wizard. Now, if you don't think this is logic you can burn me on the fiery… — Lenny Bruce Copy Share Image
If there was absolute freedom, people would run over babies and charge admission. — Lenny Bruce Copy Share Image
The 'what should be' never did exist, but people keep trying to live up to it. There is no 'what should be,'… — Lenny Bruce Copy Share Image
Part of the kick of making people laugh was doing something different. We were a rare breed - spotting one of us… — Lenny Bruce Copy Share Image
You can't do anything with anybody's body to make it dirty to me. Six people, eight people, one person - you can… — Lenny Bruce Copy Share Image
“…Catholicism is like Howard Johnson, and what they have are these franchises and they give all these people different franchises in the… — Lenny Bruce Copy Share Image
Satire is tragedy plus time. You give it enough time, the public, the reviewers will allow you to satirize it. Which is rather ridiculous,… — Lenny Bruce Copy Share Image
I would be with a bunch of Kennedy fans watching the debate, and their comment would be, 'He's really slaughtering Nixon.' Then we would… — Lenny Bruce Copy Share Image
If you're from New York and you're Catholic, you're still Jewish. If you're from Butte Montana and you're Jewish, you're still goyisch. The Air… — Lenny Bruce Copy Share Image
Alright, let's admit it, we Jews killed Christ - but it was only for three days. — Lenny Bruce Copy Share Image
Dig: I'm Jewish. Count Basie's Jewish. Ray Charles is Jewish. Eddie Cantor's goyish. B'nai B'rith is goyish; Hadassah, Jewish. If you live in New… — Lenny Bruce Copy Share Image
I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We used to write essays like: What I'm going to… — Lenny Bruce Copy Share Image
“Take away the right to say ‘fuck’ and you take away the right to say ‘fuck the government.” — Lenny Bruce Copy Share Image
