Did you know that the original title for War and Peace was War, What Is It Good For? — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
I am a very organized person. I get up at 6:15 a.m., the kids get up at 6:45 a.m., and so I… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
I know I'm not going to understand women. I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
I wonder is illiterate people know the full meaning of alphabet soup? — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
The less you know about a field, the better your odds. Dumb boldness is the best way to approach a new challenge. — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
Sometimes you can do certain things on stage, or even in a TV series, and people see the look on your face… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
I'll tell you what I like about Chinese people: they're hanging in there with the chop sticks, aren't they? You know they've… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
I know there are kids out there, I want to make sure they all know that driving without braking is not something… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
You know why dogs have no money? No pockets. 'Cause they see change on the street all the time and it's driving… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
See, you know how to take the reservation, you just don't know how to hold the reservation and that's really the most… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
A dog will stay stupid. That's why we love them so much. The entire time we know them, they're idiots. Think of… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
We know the product is going to stink. We know that because we live in the world, and we know that everything… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
We’re all trying to get to the same island, whether you swim, fly, surf, or skydive in, it doesn’t matter. What matters is when… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
I have a nice bookshelf in my office, but not my house. I'm crass, but not that crass. — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
There's no downside to fame and people who whine about it make me sick. It's the greatest thing in the world. — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
We're all trying to get to the same island — whether you swim, fly, surf, or skydive, it doesn't matter. What matters is when… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
I was in the drug store the other day trying to get a cold medication...Not easy. There's an entire wall of products you need.… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
I went up to the camp and Paul had me eat my first oyster I had never had an oyster in my life. And… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
Then, finally, the third year, begging the parents, I got the Superman Halloween costume. Cardboard box, self-made top, mask included. Remember the rubber band… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
This is really a crazy idea, you know. It probably won't work, but that will be interesting, too. You have to motivate yourself with… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
If you get something right, you really feel it, right in your chest, on stage. I think it's an incomparable experience. — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
People have an infinite attention span if you are entertaining them. — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
It's hard to do nothing because you tend to do something and then you have to drop everything. — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
