You know, you walk through this hotel, you're not going to see all white people; you're not going to see all black… — George Lopez Copy Share Image
If you had a personal trainer, you would probably eat him. I know that in every fat person, there's a skinny person… — George Lopez Copy Share Image
You know how Mexican restaurants always have "border" in the name: Border Grill, Border Cafe. You wouldn't do that to black people:… — George Lopez Copy Share Image
Y'know, if those pews reclined, and the priests gave the Raiders scores I'd go to church every Sunday. — George Lopez Copy Share Image
From now on, we're home schooling you. Whatever we don't know, you don't know. When did the Korean War start? I don't… — George Lopez Copy Share Image
I do everything one at a time, one day at a time. It's the only way I can do all what I… — George Lopez Copy Share Image
Marijuana brownies are amazing. Very simple to make, too. Just get some Duncan Hines brownie mix and cook the weed right in… — George Lopez Copy Share Image
It's good to see people not smoking. You get dressed up, and you smoke, and it gets in your clothes. You go,… — George Lopez Copy Share Image
I think we all feel the same things most of the time, we just don't know how to put it into words.… — George Lopez Copy Share Image
If you read social media, you can see how immigration is such a hot-button debate and [a hotbed] of ignorance. You know… — George Lopez Copy Share Image
I think it's easier for African American and white comics to be praised than it is Latinos because they think our culture or our… — George Lopez Copy Share Image
I've spent days in cinemas answering questions from the audience, in interviews, travelling abroad, and all they do is thank me nicely. — George Lopez Copy Share Image
Everything will be seen on your computer or BlackBerry or whatever devices we will be seeing in the future. Comedians will put their content… — George Lopez Copy Share Image
They were putting together a book for her birthday of all her friends, and they asked me to fill out a blank piece of… — George Lopez Copy Share Image
The jewelry stores say, 'Tell your wife you love her with a diamond,' while wives tell you they love you with, 'Ok, but just… — George Lopez Copy Share Image
By the time I was 11, I wanted to be a comedian. So all those years later, I've managed to achieve my dream as… — George Lopez Copy Share Image
You know, you walk through this hotel, you're not going to see all white people; you're not going to see all black people; you're… — George Lopez Copy Share Image
No Angie, it's instant. Like when someone trips in the cafeteria and you're laughing so hard milk comes out of your nose, the guy… — George Lopez Copy Share Image
I don't know if the art of stand-up will survive. Stand-up seems dated. Now you can do a mini-movie or a short with a… — George Lopez Copy Share Image
Angie, I've seen my mom wrestle two cops to the ground with a taser dart in her neck, and you cry when your shoes… — George Lopez Copy Share Image
