Jerry Seinfeld couldn't be here tonight. He had a prior engagement to fuck a model on a pile of cash. — Jeff Ross Copy Share Image
“Men don’t care what’s on TV. They only care what else is on TV. JERRY SEINFELD” — Christopher Ryan Copy Share Image
Back when Jerry Seinfeld was just another comedian hanging around the clubs, I'd imitate him to amuse myself and the other comics.… — Gilbert Gottfried Copy Share Image
All the people I looked up to - Roseanne, Tim Allen, and Jerry Seinfeld - were stand-up comedians who used humor to… — Retta Copy Share Image
I would love to be in a Paul Thomas Anderson movie, I'd love to do television with Jerry Seinfeld or Michael Richards,… — Eddie Kaye Thomas Copy Share Image
One percent of all comics ever reach the level of a Chris Rock or a Jerry Seinfeld. When audiences come to the… — Baron Vaughn Copy Share Image
Jerry Seinfeld, he was doing Letterman show all the time, so he kind of had an excuse, that people know the jokes… — Dave Chappelle Copy Share Image
Jerry Seinfeld is amazing in many ways, not the least of them his ability to find humor, and convincing us to find… — Tom Shales Copy Share Image
As you can see, the rest of the cast of "Seinfeld" couldn't be here tonight. Apparently, they broke their backs carrying Jerry… — Jeff Ross Copy Share Image
I personally have dealt with any adversity in my life with humor. That's why I told America to 'Read my hips!' on… — Marlee Matlin Copy Share Image
“Jerry Seinfeld once remarked that today’s athletes churn through the rosters of sports teams so rapidly that a fan can no longer… — Steven Pinker Copy Share Image
I can watch an episode of Jerry Seinfeld, and by the end, I'm just walking around my house, you know, talking like… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
“Come on, who saw what happened?" "I did," I volenteered. "Well?" "Buttwipe wanted to know what jerkface was looking at." I turned… — Gordon Korman Copy Share Image
When we developed the 'Seinfeld' show, we took a bet on Jerry Seinfeld, who was not a household name. But Jerry had… — Warren Littlefield Copy Share Image
“Amy Schumer: I did an interview with Jerry Seinfeld the other day. Judd Apatow: You did? Did you know him at all?… — Judd Apatow Copy Share Image
I remember thinking as I was doing the jokes for the first time, "If I can hear that very clearly, I'm not… — Seth Rogen Copy Share Image
I wouldn't call myself a standup in the presence of Jerry Seinfeld or Chris Rock, but I do my share of it… — Alan Thicke Copy Share Image
When it comes to English stand-up comedy, Indians have only seen the best - Jerry Seinfeld, Bill Cosby and the like. So,… — Vir Das Copy Share Image
“when i think 'dave eggers' in my head it's in the same tone of voice jerry seinfeld uses to say 'hello newman'… — Megan Boyle Copy Share Image
I was a guest on Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee with Jerry Seinfeld, and I interviewed him when I was 15 years… — Judd Apatow Copy Share Image
If I'm a busboy in Philadelphia, then I have to be careful about what I say. But if I'm a public tycoon… — Jackie Mason Copy Share Image
“He was dressed, as I supposed befitted a warlock, in black—long pants, large boots, and a long-sleeved, billowy shirt that reminded me… — H.P. Mallory Copy Share Image
I grew up loving David Letterman and Pee-wee Herman, but as far as live performance comedy, all I knew were the Jerry… — Scott Aukerman Copy Share Image
There was another guy suggested. He was a tall and dark-haired and Jewy, and I said, "No, he's too close to me."… — David Copperfield Copy Share Image
Jerry Seinfeld made a puddle, I stepped in it, and wonderful things happened. — Jason Alexander Copy Share Image
I've always wanted to play Jerry Seinfeld's son, actually, because he's the only person who anyone ever says I look like, in… — Paulo Costanzo Copy Share Image
When I started out I was definitely more traditional. It was 1988. Everyone was doing the Jerry Seinfeld. — Joe Rogan Copy Share Image
[Comedian Jerry Seinfeld was nominated for a Grammy for his spoken-word children's album] Halloween... Don't Give Up on Me. — Jamie Lee Curtis Copy Share Image
I'm no Jerry Seinfeld. I wasn't raised with some backyard with a creek and trees and all that. — Tracy Morgan Copy Share Image
Jerry Seinfeld has an interesting theory. He goes, '20 pounds up or down, and you lose your funny.' — Jason Alexander Copy Share Image
I listened to this interview once with Jerry Seinfeld that really influenced my comedy and all of my writing, which is that… — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
Comedians, we're just people who whine. But we happen to be funny when we whine. Like, if Jerry Seinfeld wasn't funny, you'd… — Artie Lange Copy Share Image
“You know, a wise man once said, ‘Pain is knowledge rushing in to fill a gap.’ ” “Pain is knowledge rushing in… — Tiffany Reisz Copy Share Image
I worshipped guys like Bill Maher, Jay Leno, and Jerry Seinfeld, and was doing my variation of that. But as a young… — Judd Apatow Copy Share Image
I was a big TV kid.When I was a kid, I would go home at 3:00 and watch TV straight through to… — Judd Apatow Copy Share Image
Things that make me laugh range from a wonderful stand-up like Jerry Seinfeld, Louis C.K. and Chris Rock to my son Gabe,… — Jason Alexander Copy Share Image
I'll work with Jerry Seinfeld any day of the week. Get a nice little paycheck there, but you do it for free.… — Patrick Warburton Copy Share Image
I gazed around the room and my eyes stopped dead on a little boy standing in the corner. This was a particularly… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
“Somewhere in between are the rest of us natives, in whom such change revives long-buried anger at those faraway people who seem… — Joe Bageant Copy Share Image
![“Amy Schumer: I did an interview with Jerry Seinfeld the other day. Judd Apatow: You did? Did you know him at all? Amy: We met a bunch of times at the Cellar, but I didn’t know him well. He picked me up in a Ferrari, and then it broke down on [the] West Side Highway. It was a real piece of shit. It…” quote by Judd Apatow](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/a2c/judd-apatow-1471_west-side_amy-schumer-i-did-an-interview-with-jerr_848131.jpg)
![“[Comedian Jerry Seinfeld was nominated for a Grammy for his spoken-word children's album] Halloween... Don't Give Up on Me.” quote by Jamie Lee Curtis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/bc6/jamie-lee-curtis-3771_albums_comedian-jerry-seinfeld-was-nominated-fo_3080165.jpg)
