Figures often beguile me, particularly when I have the arranging of them myself; in which case the remark attributed to Disraeli would… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“After supper she got out her book and learned me about Moses and the Bulrushers; and I was in a sweat to… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I wasn't worth a cent two years ago, and now I owe two million dollars. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
There is something fascinating about science. One gets such wholesale returns of conjecture out of such a trifling investment of fact. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“I had been to school most all the time, and could spell, and read, and write just a little, and could say… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“Yes, we were sold at auction, like swine. In a big town and an active market we should have brought a good… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
A banker is somebody who lends you an umbrella & takes it away as soon as it starts raining. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“This is one of the peculiarly dangerous months to speculate in stocks. The others are July, January, September, April, November, May, March,… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Do not undervalue the headache. While it is at its sharpest it seems a bad investment; but when relief begins, the unexpired… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Is it, perhaps, possible that there are two kinds of Civilization-one for home consumption and one for the heathen market? — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
July 4. Statistics show that we lose more fools on this day than in all the other days of the year put… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
A dollar picked up in the road is more satisfaction to you than the ninety-and -nine which you had to work for,… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“Statistics show that we lose more fools on this day than in all the other days of the year put together. This… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Few things are more irritating than when someone who is wrong is also very effective in making his point. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“so then I didn't care no more about him, because I don't take no stock in dead people.” — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching, and live like its heaven on earth. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
If you had made the acquiring of ignorance the study of your life, you could not have graduated with higher honor than you could… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“The Creator sat upon the throne, thinking. Behind him stretched the illimitable continent of heaven, steeped in a glory of light and color; before… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
A man accustomed to American food and American domestic cookery would not starve to death suddenly in Europe, but I think he would gradually… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I never write Metropolis for seven cents because I can get the same price for city. I never write policeman because I can get… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The higher animals get their teeth without pain or inconvenience. Man gets his through months and months of cruel torture; he will never get… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“As far as I can see, Italy, for fifteen hundred years, has turned all her energies, all her finances, and all her industry to… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Begin with the determination to succeed and the work is half done already. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Many public-school children seem to know only two dates—1492 and 4th of July; and as a rule they don't know what happened on either… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
