“Well we kind of tried to kill each other in a duel to the death." "I see. You tried the diplomatic approach.” — Rick Riordan Copy Share Image
“I don't want any gay people hanging around me while I'm killing kids. I just don't want to see it.” — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
“The boy knew that escaping school was the surest sign of his election.” — Flannery O'Connor Copy Share Image
“Maxim 11: Everything is air-droppable at least once. -The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries” — Howard Tayler Copy Share Image
“..the nuclear family from across the street, which, as a result of decay, truly did have 2.5 kids;” — Robin Becker Copy Share Image
“My sister has mistaken me for a mushroom. She keeps me in the dark and feeds me shit.” — George R.R. Martin Copy Share Image
“I don't need to travel back in time to cause trouble. Seeing back through time finds me trouble enough!” — A.A. Bell Copy Share Image
“Angelina leaned forward as Sara pulled Miki back to her, "You know what they say about curiosity? That it stabbed the annoying… — Shelly Laurenston Copy Share Image
“Your dad's not dead." I winced. "In fact, isn't he some kind of big-shot union labor guy?" He nodded. "Yup. That's who… — KevaD Copy Share Image
“The clock in the church tower said 4.32, as it had done for three hundred years. It was right once a day… — Spike Milligan Copy Share Image
Henry Kissinger is possessed of a truly superior intelligence, in addition to which he has two qualities which, unfortunately, many great men… — Mohammed Reza Pahlavi Copy Share Image
“On a world where a common table implement is a little device with which you crack the ice that has formed on… — Ursula K. Le Guin Copy Share Image
“Michael: "Thing is, I'd like to go out with you. What are you doing on Saturday?" Siobhan: "Committing suicide." Michael: "Alright then,… — John Hennessy Copy Share Image
I think comedy can be a way of sugar-coating a pill that needs to be taken, and whatever I complain about onstage,… — Jon Richardson Copy Share Image
“We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. Cross it? I'm making plans to destroy the bridge from orbit. -Colonel Ceeta… — Howard Tayler Copy Share Image
“Ty didn't think Middleton was a great girl. He thought Middleton was a pain in the ass. Waltzing around with her shiny… — Eve Dangerfield Copy Share Image
“The Little Prince : What are you doing there? The Tippler : I am drinking. The Little Prince : Why are you… — Antoine de Saint-Exupéry Copy Share Image
I was a weirdo. I wasn't picked on or anything. And I wasn't smarter than the other kids; that's not why I… — Jennifer Lawrence Copy Share Image
“One of the things about football fans in general is that they all think that they’re the same. But they are not.… — Dougie Brimson Copy Share Image
“He didn’t say anything until we approached my trailer. “Truth be told, I was hoping for a goodnight kiss, you know, after… — Sherry Gammon Copy Share Image
“The Baudelaires' journey up the Vertical Flame Diversion was so dark and treacherous that it is not enough to write “The Baudelaires'… — Lemony Snicket Copy Share Image
“And so Mort came at last to the river Ankh, greatest of rivers. Even before it entered the city, it was slow… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“The executioner's argument was that you couldn't cut of something's head unless there was a trunk to sever it from. He'd never… — Lewis Carroll Copy Share Image
“Attach yourself to revenue, if you do that, then nobody can touch you.” — Turney Duff Copy Share Image
A comedian can only last till he either takes himself serious or his audience takes him serious. — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
PHYSICIAN, n. One upon whom we set our hopes when ill and our dogs when well. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
“Life is like a one rung ladder, some days you can be on the top and bottom of the world at the… — Benny Bellamacina Copy Share Image
From my point of view, humour and irony include tragedy; they're two sides of the same coin. — Maurizio Cattelan Copy Share Image
“You are a deviant from the social norm!" "Is that an insult or a diagnosis?” — Roger Zelazny Copy Share Image
“We are sometimes hurt mostly or only not by what happened or is happening to us but by being felt sorry for.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
“Is it colour?’ ‘Oh yes.’ ‘You don’t let me down.You are my ambassador to pr0n, man.” — Christopher Brookmyre Copy Share Image
Will Hunting: Does this break the patient-doctor code? Sean Maguire: Only if you grab my ass. — Good Will Hunting Copy Share Image
“Nefarious purposes translation: For disgusting demon sex and the birth of the Devil incarnate. Nice.” — Elle Casey Copy Share Image
“Oh, about beer I never lie,’ Crandall said. ‘A man who lies about beer makes enemies.” — Stephen King Copy Share Image
“The last thing he wanted was to see the bright, shining, happy faces of the other angels up there.” — Joel Crofoot Copy Share Image
