“Nice! There's no fun in nice. I'll be myself and you'll all love me for it.” — J.E Allen Copy Share Image
One Catwoman in the world! It's amazing because you have to have a sense of humour, it's a must. — Jocelyn Wildenstein Copy Share Image
“They say that maths is a language. So how do I order a pizza with extra cheese in maths?” — Greg Curtis Copy Share Image
“On the way home, I saw a fist fight between an adverb and a pair of parentheses. I kept on walking.” — Peter James West Copy Share Image
“Ulysses was an elaborate prank, and our supposed intellectual elite continue to fall for it.” — Orson Scott Card Copy Share Image
“She didn’t sound overjoyed. She didn’t sound even slightly joyed.” — Sarah Mayberry Copy Share Image
“For any given problem, if there's a simple solution it will already have been applied. So, perhaps, the solution isn't as simple… — Stuart Aken Copy Share Image
Sometimes you feel amazing about life and other times you just feel fat and depressed, so I think it's good to be… — Marina and the Diamonds Copy Share Image
“What’s your favourite position?” “I usually play winger.” “Zach, I adore you, but you can’t make soccer jokes during phone sex. It… — Tiffany Reisz Copy Share Image
“His relationship with illness was flirtatious; only a particularly attractive ailment could tempt him into bed.” — Sam Byers Copy Share Image
“Everywhere I go, I am asked if I think university stifles writers. My opinion is that it doesn't stifle enough of them.” — Flannery O'Connor Copy Share Image
“May the fleas of a thousand camels invade the crotch of the person that ruins your day. And may their arms be… — Keisha Keenleyside Copy Share Image
“If I don't get a girlfriend soon (number one on the list) I may have to resort to drastic measures like surgery… — J.A. Buckle Copy Share Image
“They’d tried to diagnose him but there was no apparent medical explanation for his behaviour. He was just what his mum called… — Eve Dangerfield Copy Share Image
“Are you done briefing the company yet?" "We, um... Haven't gotten through the introductions yet." "Allow me: Time-traveling Kevyn Andreyasn, this is… — Howard Tayler Copy Share Image
“The strong man lit a cigarette. It looked too frail for his hand. They looked like King Kong and Fay Wray, that… — Rupert Thomson Copy Share Image
“Hi. I'm here to enlist. You can't. You aren't human. You see, little fella, we don't do sociological stuff like "interspeciated workplaces."… — Howard Tayler Copy Share Image
“Then he reached to an even higher shelf and brought down another plastic grocery bag, this one from Tesco, which is decidedly… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
“I’d spend hours in HMVs, Virgin Megastores and second-hand record shops staffed by greasy-haired 40-year-olds dressed as 20-year-olds, listening to contemporary music… — Alan Partridge Copy Share Image
In Hollywood everything is so documented. If you go for a drink with somebody, it's passed around the world so quickly. So,… — Catherine Zeta-Jones Copy Share Image
When you say to yourself, 'I am going to have a pleasant visit or a pleasant journey,' you are literally sending elements… — Prentice Mulford Copy Share Image
“Edward shifted from one foot to the other, then headed to one of the younger knights from Carrick, leading his horse and… — Robyn Young Copy Share Image
“There was a family joke that Lucy's first words were, "Nicholas is bugging me!” — Alyxandra Harvey Copy Share Image
“You cannot be truly humble, unless you truly believe that life can and will go on without you.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
“Hardship bred a bitter, quickfire humour and resilience to all but the most terminal of life's tragedies.” — Ian Rankin Copy Share Image
“Oh my gods. The alpha of Clan Cat just got smacked with a rolled-up newspaper. "Mom!” — Ilona Andrews Copy Share Image
“Theresa Bianchi decorated in bulk with a heavy dose of Catholicism” — Kristen Ashley Copy Share Image
“Summer is the time when it is too hot to do the job that it was too cold to do last winter.” — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“The worst case of discrimination can be witnessed in music. Imagine calling B 'sharp' in presence of D 'minor” — EverSkeptic Copy Share Image
“The most powerful women in Sachaka and all you do is waste time gossiping and matchmaking” — Trudi Canavan Copy Share Image
“Iron deficiency can lead to a wardrobe full of crumpled clothes” — Benny Bellamacina Copy Share Image
“ If you ask 10 nomes to push four will pull and two will say pardon” — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“You are old and grey,” she teased. “And you’re never too immortal for a spanking,” he shot back...” — Dianna Hardy Copy Share Image
I like girls with a good sense of humour. Girls who are a lot of fun to be around. — Corbin Bleu Copy Share Image
“Sometimes the walk to the doctors is a better cure than the medicine you receive” — Benny Bellamacina Copy Share Image
It's the teenage and university crowd, so we give them lots of sex jokes and gross humour. — Keenen Ivory Wayans Copy Share Image
“This is Waldo Butters, and his geek penis is longer and harder than any of ours put together.” — Jim Butcher Copy Share Image
