“In Rome there is a pathological shortage of small coins. For change, the little shops tend to use candy.” — Dorothy Dunnett Copy Share Image
My opponent left a glass of whisky 'en prise' and I took it 'en passant'. — Joseph Henry Blackburne Copy Share Image
“With a black Stone, you are handsome, wise and a good dancer. Norn saying.” — Taylor Grace Copy Share Image
I love inappropriate humour. What else are you going to do? You have to laugh. — Bojana Novakovic Copy Share Image
“A magic Adam never knew existed, yet he must somehow control it to survive.” — Max Nowaz Copy Share Image
“ma pis in piscina prietenilor mei- modul meu de a le mai dilua pretentiile” — frederic beigbeder Copy Share Image
“And very amusing it is to watch,” said Jem. “Did you know you twitch your nose when you sleep, like a rabbit?”… — Cassandra Clare Copy Share Image
“There was Arctic John, a businessman from Salisbury who doesn’t hold water, Bruce Knott, a social worker from Cumberland who spends his… — St. John Morris Copy Share Image
“Take it!" he snarled, hurling the diamond necklace across the table at his opponent. "And may you rot in hell with it!"… — Sheri Cobb South Copy Share Image
“I've never felt erotica was a 'niche market'. 50 years ago, Earth's population was 3 billion. Now it's 7 billion. That tells… — Alex Milton Copy Share Image
“Private Benjamin lives next door but one to Bob Cryer from The Bill. I once saw him crouching down behind a sycamore… — St. John Morris Copy Share Image
“Hmm… if yelling at me makes you feel okay… then we can continue. I can even make some more tea for the… — Sam P. Grace Copy Share Image
“A seemingly simple task like taking a bath or wearing a condom feels like multitasking to someone who suffers from hemiplegia or… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
“Rock and roll, big band, the blues. He loved them all. He would close his eyes and with a blissful smile begin… — Mitch Albom Copy Share Image
“Well, Arminius, I can’t say you’re the most natural horseman I’ve ever seen.’ Arminius sneered down at the men standing around him,… — Anthony Riches Copy Share Image
“An hour ago Cutwell had thumbed through the index of The Monster Fun Grimoire and had cautiously assembled a number of common… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“Well, look who's on my front porch," he said, speaking Empire with this odd hissing accent. "A murderer and a cross-dressing pirate."… — Cassandra Rose Clarke Copy Share Image
“When the waiter brought the cheese-board, there was a large carrot carved in the shape of a mermaid sitting between the Dolcelatte… — Michelle Lovric Copy Share Image
“Language is my whore, my mistress, my wife, my pen-friend, my check-out girl. Language is a complimentary moist lemon-scented cleansing square or… — Stephen Fry Copy Share Image
It is only a novel... or, in short, only some work in which the greatest powers of the mind are displayed, in… — Jane Austen Copy Share Image
“We offered her flowers and signalled to her with our penises, but she did not respond with joy.' 'The men with the… — Margaret Atwood Copy Share Image
“There’s something very comforting about watching a Hugh Grant movie. You know no one’s head will be blown off in the first… — Ali McNamara Copy Share Image
“We sometimes try to impress people we just met by not trying to impress them.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
“Mmmmmm I like that thing you do with your tongue. What do you call it? Speaking? Yeah, I dig it” — Bo burnham Copy Share Image
“Father has a fear of flying since that aeroplane crashed into his bedroom.” — Jonathan Dunne Copy Share Image
“I promise to pay you before you die - but you have to promise not to die.” — Jim Baen Copy Share Image
“He eased back and murmured, “You taste so damn sweet. Like maple syrup.” “And you taste like stolen bacon.” — Lorelei James Copy Share Image
“Trouble can be purchased cheaply, though the refund may be more than you can bear.” — Roger Zelazny Copy Share Image
“I don't think I've ever seen you without braids. I thought your hair just grew that way.” — Maureen Johnson Copy Share Image
“I laughed. ‘It’s a cellar Phil, calling it your recording studio does not make that sentence any less creepy.” — Alison Davis Copy Share Image
“Every time you tell a lie an angel punches a unicorn in the face with a kitten.” — Dave Turner Copy Share Image
The Classic Notting Hill junkie, i.e; Armani underwear, Pink's shirt and Burberry belt tourniquets — Tyne O'Connell Copy Share Image
The thing about a sense of humour is that it's not bestowed on the good. It's just randomly dished out. — Chris Morris Copy Share Image
Many gays have a good sense of humour and they like the wit I hopefully put into my performances. — June Brown Copy Share Image
