“A Prayer was like a tickle.Sooner or later God would have to look down to see what was tickling his bum.” — Lloyd Jones Copy Share Image
“It was a good picture. You could tell by the amount of time I spent staring at it.” — Cary Attwell Copy Share Image
“Can't you see that I'm only advising you to beg yourself not to be so dumb?” — Petronius Copy Share Image
“Of course I have had to rearrange the text a bit— bugger about with it, as Hébert would say.” — Hilary Mantel Copy Share Image
“Great songs don't grow on trees, yet lots of songs have been written on great trees” — Benny Bellamacina Copy Share Image
OBSERVATORY, n. A place where astronomers conjecture away the guesses of their predecessors. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
“Iss all regulated Simon, everything in this country is. Yow can't scratch yer arse without some cunt filling o form abaht it.” — Wes Brown Copy Share Image
My partner of 45 years is Australian, and a big part of her character is that marvellous quality of irony which Aussies… — Miriam Margolyes Copy Share Image
The old water heater in my dressing room was working, but it was kind of tired. It gave off about as much… — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
“Listen, I didn’t ask for a face and body girls find attractive. But thanks to the mixture of my parents’ DNA, I’ve… — Simone Elkeles Copy Share Image
“Humour is our 'default mode', if you like: we do not have to switch it on deliberately, and we cannot switch it… — Kate Fox Copy Share Image
“Sometimes God dillies and dallies,’ Steve said, ‘and sometimes he just points at you and tells you to hang up your jock.” — Stephen King Copy Share Image
“When selecting a one-night stand, a heterosexual woman who is materialistic is a trillion times more likely to choose a sexually unattractive… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
Religion supposed Heaven and Hell, the word of God, and sacraments, and twenty other circumstances which, taken seriously, are a wonderful check… — Jonathan Swift Copy Share Image
The first step toward the management of disease was replacement of demon theories and humours theories by the germ theory. That very… — Fred Brooks Copy Share Image
“Nature" doesn't really have intentions, per se. Nature is a drunk waking up from a weekend bender, ambling through a messy kitchen… — Pat Connid Copy Share Image
“On a Tuesday they were we, and by Friday they were dead and they buried them in the courtyard side by side,… — Cassandra Clare Copy Share Image
“At the zoo, I stood in front of the primate cage listening to a woman marvel at how “presidential” the four-hundred-pound gorilla… — Paul Beatty Copy Share Image
This false distance is present everywhere: in spy films, in Godard, in modern advertising, which uses it continually as a cultural allusion.… — Jean Baudrillard Copy Share Image
“Pastor Daniel, meanwhile, is sipping water on the balcony of a former sailing clubhouse, I ask if he can show me which… — John Safran Copy Share Image
“The bus I am riding on must be on its way to a garbage convention. Never before has a more rancid assemblage… — Emily Austin Copy Share Image
“Ivanov: Gentlemen, you've again set up a drinking shop in my study... I have asked each and every one of you a… — Anton Chekhov Copy Share Image
“We're giving each other space." "You know what I think?" He shook his head. "Space is for astronauts." ” — Anna McPartlin Copy Share Image
It's rare that you discover something by accident that resonates with your sense of humour. — Richard Herring Copy Share Image
I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine. — Peter Ustinov Copy Share Image
“I don't even like turkey. It's dry and weird. And so leggy I feel like I'm dining on Rhonda Burchmore” — Chrissie Swan Copy Share Image
“I think I know where my life went wrong. For all the world's a stage and I'm a lousy actor!” — Greg Curtis Copy Share Image
“Don't think that people hate you, strongly dislike is a better word for it.” — Sarah van Waterschoot Copy Share Image
I love the way Lady Gaga finds humour in fashion, but it's still very stylised. — Kim Gordon Copy Share Image
GUILLOTINE, n. A machine which makes a Frenchman shrug his shoulders with good reason. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
“All the best pubs are built on a hill, so you can slope in and roll out.” — Benny Bellamacina Copy Share Image
“The nuisance of her presence outweighs the gratification to be derived from tormenting her” — Emily Bronte Copy Share Image
“Soul: As a cool guy, I'm used to seeing naked women. Blair: That explains the nosebleed” — Atsushi Ohkubo Copy Share Image
