If God is everywhere, I had concluded, then He is in food. Therefore, the more I ate the godlier I would become.… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
Real cars were made here in America: Fords, Chevys, Plymouths. These were large chunks of Detroit iron - cars that had the… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“Can I have my ear back?" He asked irritably. She blinked. "Mother, can you tell this creature here to loosen her hold?” — Anya Wylde Copy Share Image
Karla Jay's intimate account of life in the early years of feminism and gay liberation is as irresistible as a novel, but… — Gloria Steinem Copy Share Image
Last year I gave seventy-four phone hours to soliciting baked goods for the Bake-A-Rama. I was named Top Call Girl by the… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
I've never done stand-up; I came via small-scale touring theatre, through the Royal Shakespeare Company, the National Theatre, then I got employed… — Mark Williams Copy Share Image
The difference between a Republican and a Democrat is that the Democrat is a cannibal, they live off each other, while the… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
“You’re not going to let her do this, are you?” Bones snorted. “Let her? Mate, if you think you can control a… — Jeaniene Frost Copy Share Image
You men out there probably think you already know how to dress for success. You know, for example, that you should not… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“A table for TONIGHT should certainly have been booked years before-perhaps, it was implied, by Richard's parents. A table for TONIGHT was… — Neil Gaiman Copy Share Image
The Hawaiian Islands were discovered by hardy Polynesian sailors, who crossed thousands of miles of open ocean in primitive canoes, braving violent… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“Adventuring turned out to be boring. Zach thought back to all the fantasy books he'd read where a team of questers traveled… — Holly Black Copy Share Image
“A cupcake temple?' Her chest still tight with anxiety, Bertie forced herself to imagine it: bricks of pound cake mortared with buttercream… — Lisa Mantchev Copy Share Image
Love has been taken away from the poets, and has been brought within the domain of true science. It may prove to… — Arthur Conan Doyle Copy Share Image
“Of course I can read", he said. "Jesus Christ." "Well, then, what are you trying to tell me? That you don't want… — Rainbow Rowell Copy Share Image
“[Artemis] returned to the aft bay for Mulch's version of a briefing. The dwarf had drawn a crude diagram on a backlit… — Eoin Colfer Copy Share Image
Newfoundland dogs are good to save children from drowning, but you must have a pond of water handy and a child, or… — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
Disclaimer: If anyone disagrees with anything I say, I am quite prepared to not only retract it, but also to deny under… — Tom Lehrer Copy Share Image
Everybody in New York City knows there's way more cars than parking spaces. You see cars driving in New York all hours… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
Cancel me not - for what then shall remain? Abscissas, some mantissas, modules, modes, A root or two, a torus and a… — Stanislaw Lem Copy Share Image
Just because you're old that doesn't mean you're more forgetful. The same people whose names I can't remember now I couldn't remember… — George Burns Copy Share Image
Shortly after I met my mentor he asked me, ‘Mr. Rohn, how much money have you saved and invested over the last… — Jim Rohn Copy Share Image
“...clearly, we're supposed to be together. If this were the internet, seventeen-year-old girls would be writing slash fiction about us as we… — Vaughn R. Demont Copy Share Image
I was trampled to death by a man who believed his luggage would be the first piece off. If he were an… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
English history consists largely of royal people getting their heads chopped off...Needless to say, this brand of history was a hit with… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“A professional headshot in front of a bookshelf says you're an intellectual. A professional headshot peeking though a bookshelf says you're probably… — Ryan Lilly Copy Share Image
“I laugh when i'm hurt. I laugh when i'm confused. I laugh when i'm angry. I laugh because others will laugh as… — Damien Buerger Copy Share Image
“We would not be ashamed of doing some of the things we do in private, if the number of sane human beings… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
“Monique bit at the side of lip. “He’s pretty active, I don’t want to impose…” Tony stood and scooped up the puppy.… — Kirsten Fullmer Copy Share Image
Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are… — Albert Einstein Copy Share Image
“Chase had looked at the apartment—online—talked to the real estate agent—online—obtained references—online. Now, standing in the hallway, it was obvious he’d gotten… — Adrienne Wilder Copy Share Image
The best song lyrics seem to me so artful, so brilliant, so warm and humorous, with both passion and wit, that my… — David Lehman Copy Share Image
Everyone I talked to was a recording-the bank, the elevator, your office, the school, a wrong number. You used to be able… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
“My dearest Pudding pie" I read aloud. "Yes, my little turnip?" "Hilarious," I muttered. "If you ever call me anything of the… — Jordan L. Hawk Copy Share Image
“You can crab over the morning paper and kick the shins of the guy in the next seat at the movies and… — Raymond Chandler Copy Share Image
“When I can’t find something, I try to remember what I put on top of it. Whatever I was looking for is… — Linda Armstrong Copy Share Image
“You need to relax and be yourself, not whoever it is you’re trying to be in your mad little head. I bloody… — Nick Harkaway Copy Share Image
“I'm OK with being single, but I'm not OK when the time comes where I have to move my furniture around and… — Hiroko Sakai Copy Share Image
[Reviewing the New York City Telephone Directory] But it is the opinion of the present reviewer that the weakness of plot is… — Robert Benchley Copy Share Image
You know how it is with some girls. They seem to take the stuffing right out of you. I mean to say,… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
![“[Artemis] returned to the aft bay for Mulch's version of a briefing. The dwarf had drawn a crude diagram on a backlit wall panel. In fairness, there were more artistic chimpanzees. And less pungent ones. Mulch was using a carrot as a pointer, or more accurately, several carrots. Dwarfs liked…” quote by Eoin Colfer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ed3/eoin-colfer-736_diagram_artemis-returned-to-the-aft-bay-for-mulc_3057748.jpg)
![“[Reviewing the New York City Telephone Directory] But it is the opinion of the present reviewer that the weakness of plot is due to the great number of characters which clutter up the pages. The Russian school is responsible for this.” quote by Robert Benchley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/36e/robert-benchley-2562_answering-machines_reviewing-the-new-york-city-telephone-di_1763236.jpg)
