“Veil wouldn’t make his military invincible, but it would render every other military indefensible. Veil was it. Game over, fuckholes.” — Aaron Overfield Copy Share Image
“THIS IS A COMPLIMENT? You're incrediburgable she said which is to say You're a little like incredible but a lot more like… — Chocolate Waters Copy Share Image
True humor is fun - it does not put down, kid, or mock. It makes people feel wonderful, not separate, different, and… — Hugh Prather Copy Share Image
“Try again. No no no, eyes up, eyes up! When you bow to someone you look at them, not at the floor.… — Stephen Deas Copy Share Image
“Finding out that you are not your lover’s only lover hurts, but not as much as discovering that you are the side… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
“We are sometimes depressed by our failure to convince people who strongly believe that we are that we are definitely not depressed.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
“I sensed more than recognized the sound of those skeletal knuckles on the door. I was too young for it to be… — Dan Skinner Copy Share Image
“In the beginning was the word, and that word was probably misconstrued by someone who then made it into a personal issue… — Ade Bozzay Copy Share Image
“If people fainted from too much thinking I’d scarcely ever be conscious,” Tabitha began at once. “I think and think all the… — Margaret Mahy Copy Share Image
... Once you're safely in the mall, you should tie your children to you with ropes so the other shoppers won't try… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The pitcher wound up and he flang the ball at the batter. The batter swang and missed. The pitcher flang the ball… — Dizzy Dean Copy Share Image
Nobody is excused from the excellence trend. Babies are not excused. Starting right after they get out of the womb, modern babies… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“Sorry," I said. There was little healing power in the word, but maybe the Inspectre wasn't looking to heal. Maybe he didn't… — Anton Strout Copy Share Image
“Indeed! I am truly glad to hear it. I always always fond of Osborne; and, do you know, I never really took… — Elizabeth Gaskell Copy Share Image
We admire Chaucer for his sturdy English wit… But though it is full of good sense and humanity, it is not transcendent… — Henry David Thoreau Copy Share Image
“Falon stared at Del intently, trying to figure out what was different. As usual, Del was impeccably dressed in a lavender dress… — Robin Alexander Copy Share Image
“The "word" did not "offer itself" in a take-it-or-leave-it fashion, any more than Caesar's heralds would have said, "If you'd like a… — N.T. Wright Copy Share Image
When you consider the opportunity and power He had to really do a job, and then look at the stupid, ugly little… — Joseph Heller Copy Share Image
Whenever your kids are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to… — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
Get your mind unbound and free; and then from the loosest, highest, best place you have, with the fastest and most humorous… — Stephen Gaskin Copy Share Image
Like most people who smoked umpteen cigarettes a day, I tasted only the first one. The succeeding umpteen minus one were a… — Clive James Copy Share Image
My dad is a very quick-witted, sarcastic, dry, humorous guy, whereas my mom's very silly, and that side of the family is… — Tim Heidecker Copy Share Image
“Character and Plot...Character and Plot Some writers have it and some do not This I'll tell you Brother You can't have one… — Johnny Flora Copy Share Image
“Many obese people spend a significant amount of their energy on suppressing the urge to tell some of the people who are… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
“Loneliness tortures many if not most of the elderly more intensely and more frequently than it torments many if not most of… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
I'm not saying that women don't think about sex also. I'm saying that women are capable, for at least brief periods of… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
In my experience, you run into trouble when you ask a group of beer-drinking men to perform any task more complex than… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“The front door swung open, and Zsadist strode into the house. Wrath glared. "Nice of you to show up, Z. Busy tonight… — J.R. Ward Copy Share Image
For the first two years of a child's life, we spend every waking hour tryibg to get the child to communicate. Then… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
I promised myself that if ever I had some money that I would savor a cigar each day after lunch and dinner.… — W. Somerset Maugham Copy Share Image
The conductor is a peculiar person. He turns his back on his friends in the audience, shakes a stick at his players… — Victor Borge Copy Share Image
I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use?… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“Albert Camus did not know he was summing up modern photojournalism when he wrote:"Will I kill myself or have a cup of… — Sacha Hartgers Copy Share Image
I was raised by just my mom. See, my father died when I was eight years old. At least, that's what he… — Drew Carey Copy Share Image
What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? Or what's worse, what if only that fat guy in the third… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
“ Why does everything have to be so hard? [Eragon] wondered. Because , said Saphira, everyone wants to eat, but no one… — Christopher Paolini Copy Share Image
“ Aw, kiss him, Gwen, clamored a hundred perky eggs. Shut up, she rebuked. We don't even know him, and until moments… — Karen Marie Moning Copy Share Image
If a child shows himself incorrigible, he should be decently and quietly beheaded at the age of twelve, lest he grow to… — Don Marquis Copy Share Image
Debugging is twice as hard as writing the code in the first place. Therefore, if you write the code as cleverly as… — Brian Kernighan Copy Share Image
When men lose against me, they always have a headache ... or things of that kind. I have never beaten a completely… — Susan Polgar Copy Share Image
![“Why does everything have to be so hard? [Eragon] wondered. Because , said Saphira, everyone wants to eat, but no one wants to be eaten.” quote by Christopher Paolini](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2f4/christopher-paolini-622_food_why-does-everything-have-to-be-so-hard-e_2479511.png)
