An emotional man may possess no humor, but a humorous man usually has deep pockets of emotion, sometimes tucked away or forgotten. — Constance Rourke Copy Share Image
When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
“It is not true that the English invented cricket as a way of making all other human endeavors look interesting and lively;… — Bill Bryson Copy Share Image
“As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life: ~people applaud you incessantly.… — Michael Bassey Johnson Copy Share Image
The two real political parties in America are the Winners and the Losers. The people don't acknowledge this. They claim membership in… — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
Swearing relieves the feelings - that is what swearing does. I explained this to my aunt on one occasion, but it didn't… — Jerome K. Jerome Copy Share Image
He has been a doctor a year now and has had two patients - no, three, I think - yes, it was… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The sky was so clear that the starlight cast shadows, and so many sparkles and glitters and glints appeared above us that… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
“I envisaged a perfect detective’s assistant. She’d have long, wavy blonde hair, a short skirt, and curves in all the right places.… — Grahame Shannon Copy Share Image
“He stands confidently in his hot pink mankini. When I told him it was the only suit left, he literally shrugged and… — Krista Ritchie Copy Share Image
If there is not laughter in intimacy, it becomes heavy, burdensome, and dull. At my best moments, the love dialogue I try… — Andrew Greeley Copy Share Image
I was a Teletype operator in the army, so that's where I learned to type. One day, I went downstairs to see… — Carl Reiner Copy Share Image
“Who's going to take care of it? You?. . . Son, you came in the house yesterday with sh*t on your hands.… — Justin Halpern Copy Share Image
I feel that nasal spray is a wondrous medical achievement, because it is supposed to relieve nasal congestion, and by gadfrey, it… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“It was as if God himself saw that my intention was to make my outer self match my inner fabulosity and didn't… — T.J. Klune Copy Share Image
“Two gorgeous guys slaving in the kitchen. Doesn't get any better than this.' 'You have low standards,' Chait grinned over his shoulder… — Veronica Blade Copy Share Image
Liberace was certainly master and commander of the ivories ~ he is the only pianist I can watch or listen to without… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“I once bought my producer a case of Mountain Dew, his favorite soda, as a thank you for all he'd done for… — John Bennardo Copy Share Image
There seems to me to be absolutely no limit to the inanity and credulity of the human race. Homo Sapiens! Homo idioticus! — Arthur Conan Doyle Copy Share Image
“Mother said we had reached the Age of Reason and had to be good now. We must have because we wanted Willy… — Marie Clair Copy Share Image
“If you didn't already know, game show talent works fewer days a year than almost every profession, except maybe members of Congress.” — John Bennardo Copy Share Image
What I like best about the telephone is that it keeps you in touch with people, particularly people who want to sell… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
I'm a Christian-libertarian-environmentalist-capitalist-lunatic. It's a humorous way for me to describe that I'm not stereotypical. — Joel Salatin Copy Share Image
In my creative films, if there was something, some humorous moment that is lost to a non-Korean speaking audience, I'll be very… — Park Chan-wook Copy Share Image
Clearly, society has a tremendous stake in insisting on a woman's natural fitness for the career of mother: the alternatives are all… — Ann Oakley Copy Share Image
And dilettantism is a humorous way to survive. Everybody understands you for it and everybody hates you for it. And not everybody… — Francesco Clemente Copy Share Image
“Three eggs two slices of toast a cup of coffee an episode of Mr. Ed. A Violin and a bowl of fruit… — Stanley Victor Paskavich Copy Share Image
The service at the Imperial (Tokyo) is the finest I've encountered anywhere. There was a button next to my bed marked ROOM… — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
“Livvy and me together in an elevator for four hours..and we're good. To some eyes the fact that we're both alive could… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It would be a service to mankind if the pill were available in slot machines and the cigarette were placed on prescription. — Malcolm Potts Copy Share Image
There are only two reasons to sit in the back row of an airplane: Either you have diarrhea, or you're anxious to… — Henry A. Kissinger Copy Share Image
“Of course, you won't confirm or deny it, which means I'm probably right, since if I was wrong, you'd be gloating about… — Keith R.A. DeCandido Copy Share Image
“The first sign that Karma was now in cahoots with the Devil Incarnate to ruin her existance should've been before sunrise and… — Kelly Moran Copy Share Image
“The ark was like a portable computer hard drive and Noah was a one-man Geek Squad, and he dumped God's most important… — BikeSnobNYC Copy Share Image
“Try picking on someone who can handle you, you worthless little limp dick of a shit." In retrospect I could have picked… — K.H. Koehler Copy Share Image
Rock and roll is catching on all over . . . France . . . England . . . They even have… — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
“Alexandra, my eldest, here, plays the piano, or reads or sews; Adelaida paints landscapes and portraits (but never finishes any); and Aglaya… — Fyodor Dostoyevsky Copy Share Image
“Unbeknown to us, some of the people who we hope are missing us wherever they are do miss us; some miss someone… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
“There are few things more discomfiting than a spontaneous outburst of genuine decency from someone you’re determined to dislike for no good… — Gregory David Roberts Copy Share Image
Black. Simply remove all the little colored stickers on the cube, and each of side of the cube will now be the… — Steven Rubenstein Copy Share Image
