Judge if you want, we are all going to die. I intend to deserve it. — Joey Comeau Death Copy Share Image
“There is no subtle way to mention you miss the curve of someone’s ass. ” — Joey Comeau Copy Share Image
“I want something from her, but I don’t know what it is. I guess that means sex. ” — Joey Comeau Copy Share Image
I feel the way bank robbers must feel before they go out on that last job that ends up getting them all… — Joey Comeau Copy Share Image
“Our love is a forest fire and we are the little things that live in the trees.” — Joey Comeau Fire Copy Share Image
“Oh, thank goodness you’re here,” the priest said. “I think this poor boy tried to kill himself with a sledgehammer.” — Joey Comeau Poor boy Copy Share Image
Happiness is not a house where you can live. (But it is a house you can build.) — Joey Comeau Chaos Copy Share Image
It doesn't matter if the glass is half full or half empty. I am gonna drink it through this crazy straw. — Joey Comeau Copy Share Image
“Moderation is like a foreign language. You have to learn that shit when you're young.” — Joey Comeau Foreign language Copy Share Image
“She wears glasses that are not too small. I wish I was a girl like that. I wear contact lenses because glasses… — Joey Comeau Copy Share Image
“Wait, wait, wait,” he said, and everyone stopped to listen. “This is about those children I murdered, isn’t it?” He laughed. “Listen,”… — Joey Comeau Children Copy Share Image
I am writing to apply for the position of bookkeeper. Attached, you will find my list of qualifications. I have been keeping… — Joey Comeau Book Copy Share Image
When the end comes, I hope it’s as strange as that. I hope that the sky tears open and the world is… — Joey Comeau Color Copy Share Image
“Wait," I say. "Aren't soulmates supposed to be perfect? What if you find yours and shes not a virgin, not even a… — Joey Comeau Copy Share Image
Satellite images, maps and blueprints of the whole world, of every city. We could look it up and know what's there in… — Joey Comeau Copy Share Image
I don't fall in love very easily. It takes a long time, and then, when I have fallen in love, I'm still… — Joey Comeau Don't fall in love Copy Share Image
“I get scared thinking about the yawning void of space and the maddening smallness of our solar system in it, and the… — Joey Comeau Copy Share Image
I don't know what you believe in. I believe we just stop. Because if we move on to an afterlife, any kind… — Joey Comeau Afterlife Copy Share Image
“I'm not really like a cop at all. I haven't got any actual authority. If someone does show up to do anything… — Joey Comeau Copy Share Image
“Monogamy is defined by what it is not, just as much as by what it is," I say, "We couldn't have monogamy… — Joey Comeau Monogamous Copy Share Image
“I think it would be cool if we wore suits while we committed these violent acts of retribution. Not fancy suits. No.… — Joey Comeau Humor Copy Share Image
I live to feel her fingers move inside of me like this. The bus makes another stop. A fat man climbs aboard,… — Joey Comeau Copy Share Image
“I hope that you are a disaster. I'm sorry, but I do. I hope that you are thunder and lightning. I hope… — Joey Comeau Disaster Copy Share Image
“She needs you, Dad," Julia says. "She has unfinished business in this world." "What is the matter with you?" Charlie asks his… — Joey Comeau Business Copy Share Image
“There's something not quite Christian about it," Tony said. He sat back in his chair and looked up to where his Bible… — Joey Comeau Bible Copy Share Image
“I think the best life would be one that's lived off the grid. No bills, your name in no government databases. No… — Joey Comeau Cell phone Copy Share Image
“Hello, there should be more advice about dealing with depression when you're stupid and worthless, so here is a self help exercise.… — Joey Comeau Depression Copy Share Image
Dear Nintendo, We need a new Mario game, where you rescue the princess in the first ten minutes, and for the rest… — Joey Comeau Copy Share Image
“I love those dark moments in Peanuts. I love that they're in there, that Charles Schulz put the sad lonely bits of… — Joey Comeau Comic Copy Share Image
