“Life is nether food nor drink. But the faith of a dance dream.” — Lailah Gifty Akita Copy Share Image
If I ever lose my mind I hope some honest person will find it and take it to Lost and Found. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
My advice to the unborn is, don't be born with a gambling instinct unless you have a good sense of probabilities. — Jack Dreyfus Copy Share Image
“You can't do much for the poor, as they are not in with the right people.” — Will Cuppy Copy Share Image
The notion of a record is an obsolete remnant of the days of the 80-column card. — Dennis Ritchie Copy Share Image
“Masked by a pair of pink cotton panties, the man looks like some sort of deranged bank robber.” — Dave Lundy Copy Share Image
“May as well have ox blood running through those veins,” I added, “You’re as stubborn as one.” — Katherine McIntyre Copy Share Image
All For One, And One For All Unfortunatly the Credo now days seems to be, every man for himself. — Rick Sutter Copy Share Image
What is your Self? Self is nothing but joy. A joyous person is definitely a person who has got his Self expressing… — Nirmala Srivastava Copy Share Image
We decide to start with the best-known sight of all, the one that, more than any other, exemplifies what the Big Apple… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
[In Moscow] we got through to [Soviet leaders] Brezhnev and Kosygin on the telephone. I think it was because nobody had ever… — Ross Perot Copy Share Image
“Listen, I'd rather lie naked in a plowed field under an incontinent horse for a week than have to read that paragraph… — Diane Ackerman Copy Share Image
“Just like how most if not all poor boys look up to and aspire to someday be rich men, most if not… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
The jewel in the baby product crown is the stroller. And if in America you are what you drive, then in Parentland,… — Paul Reiser Copy Share Image
Selfish men make the best lovers. They're prepared to invest in the women's pleasures so that they can collect an even bigger… — J. G. Ballard Copy Share Image
“I have always pictured accupuncture like falling into a box of sewing needles, and then standing up refreshed and free of pain.” — Neil Leckman Copy Share Image
“You can do this (this thing, where your body will cease to produce hormones and your skin, hair, muscles and bones... basically… — Lisa Jey Davis Copy Share Image
Zeus Is Dead is full of laugh-out-loud moments, lashings of sly wit, moan-worthy puns, and a complex, fast-paced storyline. There aren't very… — Jody Lynn Nye Copy Share Image
“The streak of bleach in my hair is as obvious as ever. Am I really going out in public like this? I… — Sophie Kinsella Copy Share Image
The brand is lying about something, or at least misrepresenting it. When I read a bottle of shampoo or moisturizer or other… — Aaron Belz Copy Share Image
“Miss Nodder leaned forward, then glanced round at Stephen. "Are you in this conversation, of just skulking?" "Mostly skulking." Stephen had a… — K.J. Charles Copy Share Image
“One year I went as a pirate, but from then on I went as a hobo. It's a word you don't hear… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
“Another example of getting flack from the boys is what happened when Jack Black dumped me. That’s right. I fucked Jack Black.… — Kathy Griffin Copy Share Image
Take the folks at Coca-Cola. For many years, they were content to sit back and make the same old carbonated beverage. It… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Good women are no fun... The only good woman I can recall in history was Betsy Ross. And all she ever made… — Mae West Copy Share Image
I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something's wrong with me. — Elayne Boosler Copy Share Image
The Russians could have some (warheads) aimed at Japan, so if we act up they can destroy our economy. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
You will never realize how wired your friends are until you start to describe them to someone else. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I say the American Medical Association ought to get the hell off the golf course and answer this question ... — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
I am sure there are many things better than a good cigar, but right now, I can't think of what they might… — Richard Carleton Copy Share Image
Epitaph on a scolding wife by her husband: Here my poor Bridget's corpse doth lie, she is at rest - and so… — Benjamin Franklin Copy Share Image
There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher. — Flannery O'Connor Copy Share Image
I just can't listen to any more Wagner, you know...I'm starting to get the urge to conquer Poland. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
“Every so often an author comes along and changes the world. I am not that author!” — Rachel Rueben Copy Share Image
“Which just goes to show, I guess, that dinner parties are like everything else - not as fragile as we think they… — Julie Powell Copy Share Image
You can teach an old dog new tricks. You just don't want to see the dog doing them. — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
“Wise men don't feel companionless when they are not in the company of their egos.” — Delian Zahariev Copy Share Image
“All I have is me, myself and I and we are all getting really tired of each other.” — Carl White Copy Share Image
Curiosity, that's what kills us. Not muggers or all that bullshit about the ozone layer. It's our own hearts and minds. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
![“[In Moscow] we got through to [Soviet leaders] Brezhnev and Kosygin on the telephone. I think it was because nobody had ever tried to call them at home before.” quote by Ross Perot](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/872/ross-perot-10054_brezhnev_in-moscow-we-got-through-to-soviet-leade_2636462.jpg)
