“Never let your sense of morals prevent you from doing what is right.” — Isaac Asimov Copy Share Image
Trailing 5-1, the Padres added an insurance run in the eighth inning. — Jerry Coleman Copy Share Image
Yeah, I definitely tend towards dry, sarcastic British humor. I actually aspire to be British - I'm pasty white as well. — Daryl Morey Copy Share Image
“Most people, aware of the number of difficulties already present in a thief's life, were kind enough to use the same few… — Brent Weeks Copy Share Image
“Mornings and I had a falling out many years ago. We avoid one another as much as polite society dictates we may.” — Megan Derr Copy Share Image
“Life is a process during which one initially gets less and less dependent, independent, and then more and more dependent.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
Today's Father Day and we're giving you a tie, it's not much you know, it's just our way of showing you, you're… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
“Trust her; we girls are two sheets short of psycho when it comes to our special little time.” — Sandi Lynn Copy Share Image
“¿Me estás preguntando si me sale pelo en sitios donde antes no tenía? ¿O si me está saliendo rabo?” — José Antonio Cotrina Copy Share Image
“Oh, but my stomach, she is like a waterbed covered in flannel. When I lie on my side in bed, my stomach… — Anne Lamott Copy Share Image
“Veeva should count her blessings. Three years ago it was cocaine and a year ago it was crack and lemme tell you,… — Dan Ahearn Copy Share Image
“Gussie and I, as I say, had rather lost touch, but all the same I was exercised about the poor fish, as… — P.G. Wodehouse Copy Share Image
“anyone is laughing out loud about the things they lol. i think it should be spelled loll. like what a lobotomized person's… — David Levithan Copy Share Image
New York State is giant and has some of the most beautiful landscape on the Eastern seaboard. There is so much history… — Adam Savage Copy Share Image
“Marco, honey, I'm gonna have to wreck your fantasy and tell that not only are Joss and I not involved with each… — Susan Bischoff Copy Share Image
“Perhaps the most irrational fashion act of all was the male habit for 150 years of wearing wigs. Samuel Pepys, as with… — Bill Bryson Copy Share Image
I noticed at once that Depp had a dangerously energized intelligence . . . He was a suave little brute, but he… — Hunter S. Thompson Copy Share Image
I love comedy, but I feel like I need to keep doing drama when I can. — Debra Stephenson Copy Share Image
“Loud, heap miseries upon us yet entwine our arts with laughters low!” — James Joyce Copy Share Image
