Humor Quotes · Page 65

“I'm very much afraid I didn't mean anything but nonsense.”

— Lewis Carroll

Comedy is the last refuge of the non-comformist mind.

— Gilbert Seldes

Have a sense of humor to break the tension in times of great toil.

— Colin Powell

By my rambling digressions I perceive myself to be growing old.

— Benjamin Franklin

Doing a format parody is one of my favorite things to do in comedy.

— Adam Conover

Finding a cure for anorexia should be a piece of cake.

— Charles Elba

The first prerequisite of an advanced being is a sense of humor.

— Richard Bach

Оf course you can only write comedy when you're smoking weed.

— Scott Aukerman

“But they are murderers, madam! I am afraid of murderers! (Jeffery, the footman in The Pirate Next Door)”

— Jennifer Ashley

“The massive lump of flesh that has created you, me, and maybe, animals, everything that has life will forever live.”

— Michael Bassey Johnson

“You know your marriage is in trouble when your wife would rather listen to a cackling drug lord than accept your apology.”

— Red Tash

Comedy teams are a real hard thing to do. That's why you don't see any of them.

— Cheech Marin

I plugged my phone in where the blender used to be. I called someone. They went "Aaaaahhhh..."

— Steven Wright

“Rape humor is designed to remind women that they are still not quite equal.”

— Roxane Gay

“Can we just be grateful for beauty & joy, fascination & tolerance, humour & love, nature & grace, and simply release any anger and pains?”

— Jay Woodman

Men love to be the first to read the newspaper in the morning. Not being the first is upsetting to their psyches.

— Rita Rudner

Humor has the tendency to be funny once. If I tell you a joke, we're going to have a big laugh. But…

— Marcel Wanders

“As soon as we got back I ran upstairs and told everyone the story, thus telling everyone the alarm code, thus breaking…

— Sarah Royal

“Sincere and unspiteful laughter is mirth, but where is there any mirth in our time, and do people know how to be…

— Fyodor Dostoyevsky

“I've made up a song about the new Folks," he (Little Georgie)added eagerly. "Would you like to hear it?" Don't think I…

— Robert Lawson

I always knew I wanted to make movies since I was around eleven. I never thought of it as wanting to do…

— Jeff Baena

“That dung flop?” Nakita said, her dislike almost visibly dripping into nasty puddles at Amy’s designer flats. “Yes, I guess. That doesn’t…

— Kim Harrison

“I used to think Romeo and Juliet was the greatest love story ever written. But now that I’m middle-aged, I know better.…

— J. Conrad Guest

“Aye. 'Tis a free country." Monq had come to check on Elora just as she asked that question. "Well, that kind of…

— Victoria Danann

If women were created from ribs then why do they taste like fish?

— Rock Cowles

Shared laughter creates a bond of friendship.

— Lee Grant

“I'd hate to be a balding man named Harry Harrison.”

— Judy Baer

I feel like the luckiest person in comedy.

— Rosie Jones

I like funny things, but I don't find myself particularly funny.

— Chris Messina

Nothing like a little chest pain to restore your faith.

— Ray Romano

“Love has a way of making the sane insane and the insane normal.”

— Shannon L. Alder

Women are like fingers and toes because they're easy to count on.

— Bo Burnham

“To love is easy, to be in a relationship is extremely difficult.”

— Santosh Kalwar

“It was 2:00 p.m., too early for wine but not for chocolate.”

— Andrea Hurst

I've done comedy on stage, in fact it is one of my strong points.

— Neeraj Kabi

“Crud. What was she supposed to do? Protect herself or the pretzels?”

— Stephanie Rowe

“It is the heart that is unsure of its God that is afraid to laugh.”

— George MacDonald

“Those pizzas I ate were for medicinal purposes.”

— Amy Neftzger

I have great faith in fools - self-confidence my friends will call it.

— Anonymous

Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

— Steven Wright