Humor Quotes · Page 63

I certainly think that live comedy on radio is my favourite thing.

— Rhod Gilbert

I know enough to know that I don't know what I don't know.

— Rock Cowles

How many people does it take to change a searchlight bulb?

— Steven Wright

Humor is so important to the American scene throughout history.

— Bob Newhart

When you do a comedy, the goals are much clearer to me.

— Luke Wilson

“Is it hot in here? I’m sweating like a Christian in science class.”

— Aaron B. Powell

“Fish and visitors stink after three days.”

— Ursula K. Le Guin

Even though the ball was doubled, they got it anyway.

— Jerry Coleman

“Life is all about exploring yourself, discovering yourself and grooming yourself, then you will surely stop negative thinking.”

— Ehabib

“Worry wasn’t an emotion to which he was particularly accustomed—and it worried him.”

— Sol Luckman

“As I pressed the doorbell button it popped off the wall and hung by two colored cords. Obviously it didn’t work, so…

— Elle Klass

Writing a whole series was a crash course in screenwriting, which is a very different muscle to standup comedy writing.

— Ronny Chieng

“Atty’s eyes rested on Darby with all the subtlety of a dog watching his food bowl being filled!”

— Tricia Murphy

My mother was a very elegant woman. When a flying saucer landed on the lawn, she turned it over to see if…

— Joan Rivers

“There was a long silence while they sat there staring at each other, a moment that was rudely interrupted by the sound…

— Philip Caveney

“Ish #303 "It's a street food vendor! Stop asking for the health score rating.”

— Regina Griffin

“I loved so many things about him: that his fingers were always stained with paint or charcoal; his casual sense of humor…

— Rebecca Maizel

Making comedies, you end up knowing people that you would swear would be the funnest people ever in the whole world. And…

— Nancy Juvonen

“Papa wants you to marry some decrepit old wigsby?” She gave him a charmingly rueful smile, all tousled golden curls like some…

— Gaelen Foley

As a blogger, Chez Pazienza is filled with outrage, passion and insight -- delivered with a distinctive point of view, a wicked…

— Arianna Huffington

Every man has to settle down eventually. You know why you gotta settle down eventually? Because you don't want to be the…

— Chris Rock

“Wow. I didn’t think it was possible for him to look any more intoxicating than he already did. But a leather clad…

— Colleen Houck

“Writing poetry's,' I looked around the solarium, but Madame Crommelynck's got a tractor beam, 'sort of . . . gay.' '"Gay"? A…

— David Mitchell

I would call it a comedy variety show. We have some people just doing straight standup. We usually try to have one…

— Todd Barry

My focus is exclusively on making something that feels funny.

— Jamie Demetriou

“The horse jumped over the fucking fence.”

— Kurt Vonnegut

“Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to compute it.”

— Steven Pinker

Confidence and a good sense of humor can usually win a chick over.

— Danny McBride

I love the humour of the British and I love the countryside.

— Ainsley Harriott

God howls with laughter at earthly plans, you know?

— Rick Moody

The jackdaw, stript of her stolen colours, provokes our laughter.

— Horace

“Housework won't kill you, but then again, why take the chance?”

— Phyllis Diller

“Vikings, it seems, make their own way.”

— Helen Russell

I cannot exist without the oxygen of laughter.

— Dawn Powell

I've always just been attracted to comedy.

— Oscar Nunez

They have miscalculated me as a leader.

— George W. Bush

Throwing acid is wrong... in some people's eyes.

— Jimmy Carr

“Nico: With great power, comes the great need to take a nap.”

— Rick Riordan

Good late-night humor can work at any time of the day.

— Rich Eisen

The perfect love affair is one which is conducted entirely by post.

— George Bernard Shaw