Do not crush the flowers of wisdom with the hobnail boots of cynicism. — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
“You can tell all that about me from your measuring tape?' 'Well, I use the metric system, It's the only way to… — Catherynne M. Valente Copy Share Image
“You can’t cry about everything in life, Princess. You’d get a nasty headache. Also, snot. Massive amounts of snot.” — Christie Valentine Powell Copy Share Image
She has pretentious conversations about art house films. I have pretentious conversations about porno clips. We were doomed from the start … — Rudy Espinoza Copy Share Image
Fancy and humour, early and constantly indulged in, may expect an old age overrun with follies. — Isaac Watts Copy Share Image
“Son-- "We don't need ladders, we have obsidian, bro." Mommy's thoughts-- "………… …fucking minecraft” — Mel Brown Copy Share Image
I'm not a professional comedian. Nobody comes to my comedy shows. That's just a little hobby. — David Rees Copy Share Image
“Mrs. Palmer is a teacher so naturally I assumed she would never do anything good for me.” — Jim Benton Copy Share Image
Humor is a great defense, and an offense too. Usually the recipient isn't too happy about it, but the people around are… — Robin Williams Copy Share Image
The humor and emotion of the 'Do You Want to Build a Snowman' theme makes me cry every time I watch it,… — Edward Kitsis Copy Share Image
“Fred coughed, which caused Sam and Ellie to look over at her. “Hey, Ellie. Watch this.” Mentally apologizing to her oldest friend,… — MaryJanice Davidson Copy Share Image
“I have noticed generational humor exists as well. Since our frames of reference and cultural influences vary, there is a lot of… — Susan C. Young Copy Share Image
“Judge Walter Henderson, better known as Hatchet Henderson, is a large, imposing hulk of a man who stays in shape by adhering… — David Rosenfelt Copy Share Image
“They marched back to the kitchen in silence, the only sound being Rufus's growl when Dunford tried to pet him. "Can a… — Julia Quinn Copy Share Image
The people who fear humor - and they are many - are suspicious of its power to present things in unexpected lights,… — Robertson Davies Copy Share Image
“Host: For those of you just tuning in, our guests tonight are the amazing Murder Magician, and his lovely minion, The Assistant...… — Gerard Way Copy Share Image
Every writer scrounges for inspiration in different places, and there's no shame in raiding the headlines. It's necessary, in fact, when attempting… — Carl Hiaasen Copy Share Image
If you wish to avoid seeing a fool, you must first break your mirror — Francois Rabelais Copy Share Image
When my old man wanted sex, my mother would show him a picture of me. — Rodney Dangerfield Copy Share Image
“I've been single so long that if I hug a brother, he'll get pregnant!” — Tranea Prosser Copy Share Image
“When I'm sad, I stop being sad, and be awesome instead! True Story...” — Barney Stinson Copy Share Image
“Grahame Coats did not go for walks; he had people to do that for him.” — Neil Gaiman Copy Share Image
