Humor Quotes · Page 66

“Aunt Beulah could hear the dust moats collide in a sunbeam.”

— Wendell Berry

I pray to the shrine of 'Mr. Show.' It saved sketch comedy.

— Michael McKean

“Goodness had nothing to do with it.”

— Mae West

SNL' is pretty much what fully got me into comedy.

— Quinta Brunson

“My undercarriage is a national treasure.”

— Gina Damico

Carry laughter with you wherever you go.

— Hugh Sidey

I was never really comfortable doing comedy.

— Ricky Schroder

“You can quote me, but I'll tell everyone that you're lying.”

— Jael Turner

Really, he called me that? Ellen DeGenerate? I've been getting that since fourth grade. I guess I'm happy I could give him…

— Ellen DeGeneres

Do you know why the Lord withheld the sense of humor from women? So that we may love you instead of laugh…

— Mrs. Patrick Campbell

I'm often confronted with people being like, 'Ahhh, drama is killing comedy.' It's not, it's a different genre.

— Jamie Demetriou

“An idealist is one who, on noticing that a rose smells better than a cabbage, concludes that it makes a better soup.”

— H.L. Mencken

A fine quotation is a diamond on the finger of a witty person, but a pebble in the hands of a fool.

— Anonymous

“I like difficult old women, she said. I'm in training to be one myself.”

— Rosina Lippi

If it's comedy, you taken an absurd comedic notion and you apply it to reality. If it's horror, if it's a thriller,…

— Jordan Peele

“Treat me like a king and I'll treat you like a queen…..Treat me like a queen and off with your head”

— Josh Stern

“One thing that I used to believe that has stuck with me is, of course, that farts are funny. Burps, too. Sneezes,…

— Greg Knauss

At least one way of measuring the freedom of any society is the amount of comedy that is permitted, and clearly a…

— Eric Idle

I don't think I ever want to just leave comedy and become a straight dramatic actor. But if the opportunity comes, I…

— Patti Harrison

“The wild women in his lap,' my father enthused, 'laying their breasts on his head.' There was a moment of stunned silence.…

— Patrick Rothfuss

I didn't understand how funny this play Much Ado About Nothing truly was until I became an English teacher and had to…

— Dan Brown

“I pulled the phone toward me and punched in the number of the sheriff's office in Flat Mesa. The deputy at the…

— Allyson James

I would never believe it of you, my boy, regardless of the schemers your mother and sister turned out to be. You…

— Julie Klassen

“Dad leapt over the garden wall instead of going through the gate. Sadly he didn‘t do himself a severe injury, and so…

— Louise Rennison

Life is neither comedy or tragedy, life is what you make of it.

— Radha Mitchell

“... Play the age as comedy if you want to get away with murder.”

— James Agee

“If bliss are a type of potato, then ignorance can be french-fried”

— josh stern

If you want to be witty, say what you think at all times

— Oscar Wilde

“In sooth, thy life sounds passing strange and shitty.”

— Austin Grossman

“He who smiles in a crisis; has fund someone to blame.”

— Anonymous

“Everything is funny as long as it is happening to someone else.”

— Will Rogers

Oh, well, my first love is comedy or singing and dancing.

— Dick Van Dyke

If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

— Jerry Seinfeld

“Time,” said Arthur weakly, “is not currently one of my problems.”

— Douglas Adams

Shirley and Griffey get along like a rattler and a parrot.

— Jerry Coleman

“The great thing about knowing stuff is that anyone can do it.”

— Ken Jennings

“No. Don't distract me with your sexy talk.”

— Rachel Hawkins

Humor is the only way to tell a story. Especially the dark ones.

— Lisa Lutz

Kim's [Kardashian] just a funny person in general.

— Kanye West

“I’m not bipolar, I’ve just had a bipolar life foisted upon me.”

— Daniel O'Malley