Humor Quotes · Page 69

“No one goes with Pigs where Muslims reside and is welcome by anyone”

— Fredrick Oginga

What is pornography to one man is the laughter of genius to another.

— Anonymous

Though laughter is allowable, a horse-laugh is abominable.

— Marcus Tullius Cicero

I love comedy, but it's dramas that stick with me.

— Bill Hader

“A domesticated man makes my lady parts beep!”

— Comic Strip Mama

I never considered myself a funny person.

— Tricky

“The truth isn't laughable And the trust isn't funny at all.”

— David Levithan

Get a sense of humor. If you don't, it'll be incredibly frustrating.

— Jon Stewart

When audience expect only humorous roles from me, my roles will become cliche and predictable.

— Biju Menon

“You also yell at the pigeons outside, watch too many cooking shows, and have a blog entirely dedicated to pictures of yourself.”

— Marie Jacquelyn

I've just read that I am dead. Don't forget to delete me from your list of subscribers.

— Rudyard Kipling

'Where's Bill going?' He's going to comedy death. Boom! He pops out of it with another joke. It's my particular style.

— Bill Hicks

“Men circle like bees around honey, buzzing to communicate their sexual despair.”

— Carla H Krueger

In a few years priests will say, 'You may now change your relationship status to husband and wife.'

— Anonymous

“While you're moving about your way in this world, just remember, read long and prosper. Cheers!”

— Virginia Vayna

“The stoic contemplates fallen leaves; the epicure rakes them into a loveseat.”

— Bauvard

“What sort of mother talks about whores on her deathbed? Your mother wouldn’t do that, would she?" "I have no idea,” Grey…

— Diana Gabaldon

“He took a breath, then proclaimed, 'Lady Shaselle of Hytanica, I am in love with you.' I burst into laughter, pulling my…

— Cayla Kluver

“The hood burnt my ass." Gavin smirked and pulled his T-shirt over his head. He spread it out across the hood, picked…

— Gail McHugh

I was drafted and went to Korea where I had an opportunity to create a production team that did dramatic and comedy…

— Casey Kasem

Last time you bring me pie, I cut into it, with my tiny pie cutter, and millions of birds flew out hitting…

— Noel Fielding

I don't want to take a pill. Go to Africa, go follow some bushman around. He's being chased by a lion. That's…

— Ellen DeGeneres

A joke is either funny or it's not funny. If I hear a funny joke, you know what I do? I laugh,…

— Alonzo Bodden

I can wax boringly about the role of comedy in mitigating pain. For so many comedians, comedy comes out of personal despair.…

— Tim Minchin

I started doing comedy because it was an escape for me.

— Patti Harrison

“Let's see if your right foot is as fearless as your mouth.”

— Doug Solter

The best humor is offered up by the stupidity of your opponents.

— Barney Frank

“I hope you are pleased with yourself. You have made a spirit cry.”

— Katie MacAlister

“Beauty may catch the eye, but a jolly laugh will lasso the heart.”

— Richelle E. Goodrich

With Irish drama, things are told with humor.

— Rory O'Malley

“A Sorcery community? Do they have a Facebook page?”

— Leia Shaw

If you treat me like a joke, then I'll leave you like it's funny.

— Anonymous

Laughter is timeless,imagination has no age,dreams are forever.

— Walt Disney

There is a mandate to impose a voluntary return to traditional values.

— Ronald Reagan

If you like easygoing, monogamous men, stay away from billionaires.

— Rita Rudner

Life -with or without softener- is hard.

— Anonymous

All my humor is based upon destruction and despair.

— Lenny Bruce

Life was more easier when Apple and Blackberry were just fruits.

— Anonymous

“When George is hanged, Harris wil be the worst packer in this world”

— Jerome K. Jerome

I think in life, the sense of humor and comedy always exists.

— Mike Epps