“The secret of his success is that he never went to business school. Imagina all the lessons he never had to unlearn.” — Peter Lynch Copy Share Image
“I don't like doing anything that makes you sweat if you don't come at the end of it.” — Russell Brand Copy Share Image
“All’s well that ENDS well, eh, Chuck?” his father joked as his mom and little sister giggled. Pale as a ghost, Chuck… — O. Penn-Coughin Copy Share Image
Help me, Mr. Wizard! I don't want to be an amateur gynecologist anymore! — Rock Cowles Channeling Tooter The Turtle Copy Share Image
Just being around Salman Khan, who is so energetic and humorous at the same time, is always entertaining. — Himesh Reshammiya Copy Share Image
What is the best sexual position to create a gorgeous, charming absolutely attractive and cute baby?… Ask my parents! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“I have so many people in my head, I can't keep up with the real people around me. But it's okay, I'm… — Shannon Taylor Vannatter Copy Share Image
I like comedy, not violence, but violence is making a lot of money. But comedy is what I like. — Andy Warhol Copy Share Image
“Sometimes it seemed that he'd said six or eight funny things in his life, and that what passed for his sense of… — Richard Yates Copy Share Image
“She closed her eyes and tried to imagine sex entering the picture. Would sex enter the picture in a silk robe, or… — Tom Robbins Copy Share Image
“They staggered and stumbled, wounded but triumphant, singing the old Welsh folk song “Ar Lan y Môr.” And if there was something… — Patricia Briggs Copy Share Image
Purpose, or mission, is determined by the development of values, balance, ethics, humor, morality, and sensitivities. It manifests itself in the way… — Luci Swindoll Copy Share Image
“Lafayette was a splendid man...with a marvelous, self-depreciating sense of humor. He was, for example, balding noticeably when he reached an Indian… — Harlow Giles Unger Copy Share Image
Voice actors I used to know who were starting out in comedy were guys who did a lot of voices. They were… — H. Jon Benjamin Copy Share Image
“You can have everything in the world, but if you don't have love, none of it means crap," he said promptly. "Love… — Jim Butcher Copy Share Image
“The cow-shaped cookies have a beef flavoring, the turkey-shaped cookies have a poultry flavoring, and..." Jane held up one of the cookies.… — Anne Bishop Copy Share Image
“Weddings, I began to understand, were vile, filthy things when they ran amuck.” — Laurie Notaro Copy Share Image
“The thing about Shakespeare is you can only read his books if someone is making you.” — Gabrielle Zevin Copy Share Image
I don't worship comedy; at the end of the day, I don't fall to the altar of comedy unquestioningly. — Bo Burnham Copy Share Image
“Today I’m a “sociopath”, A.K.A. feeling very antisocial and ignorant of human emotion. Code for: I’m writing… leave me alone” — Ari Ryder Copy Share Image
“The boy sang in a shrill high descant and seemed to be trying not to sing in tune.” — Anton Chekhov Copy Share Image
When you involved in an accident and someone asks "are you alright?" Yes fine thanks, I'll just pick up my limbs and… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
“We're talking about a tentacled flying lamp fucker, Dave. What are you prepared to call unlikely?” — David Wong Copy Share Image
“My teacher asked my favorite color. ... I said ‘Rainbow’… and I was punished to stand out of my class.” — Saket Assertive Copy Share Image
It is fun to see a comedy in which every single joke hasn't been packed into the trailer. — Elvis Mitchell Copy Share Image
“It’s hard to go underground when you weigh 400 pounds, Marcus. That’s why they’ll have to bury you in a piano case.” — Jem Fox Copy Share Image
I love good comedy. I don't like bad comedy. Of course, nobody loves bad comedy, but there's a lot of bad comedy… — Michael Dorn Copy Share Image
We are not born with a need for knowledge, but a hunger for it. Eve bit the apple and it has been… — Anthony Marais Copy Share Image
“do or do not try, don't try, do be do ba. THERE HAS TO BE A BETTER WAY TO SAY THAT!” — Zacharyb Copy Share Image
I regret that a private comment I made to the vice presidential candidate made it through the public airways. — George W. Bush Copy Share Image
“- John is a dangerous fanatic. - And you are not ? - asked Dagon. - I'm just dangerous.” — Michael Scott Copy Share Image
Why write a song when no one can play the notes or understand the lyrics? — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
TOP 4 WISHES 1. To earn money without working. 2. To be smart without studying. 3. To love without being hurt. 4. To eat without getting fat. — Unkown Copy Share Image
“In one scene, when I was supposed to say, "In a pig's eye you are," what came out was, "In a pig's… — Ava Gardner Copy Share Image
“CG: WELCOME TO THE TROLLOCAUST. THE PAINSTAKING GENOCIDE OF YOUR FRAGILE SELF ESTEEM WILL BE MY SWAN SONG.” — Andrew Hussie Copy Share Image
“Men be careful of women that say ‘I love you and i don't know why' they can also stop loving you and… — Ifeanyi Dede Copy Share Image
“What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger...unless it instead snaps your spine. Then it makes you a paraplegic.” — Kelli Jae Baeli Copy Share Image
I thinking gay and straight people use the same putters, it's not a matter of putters but a matter of hole selection. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
“God, don't laugh!" Jamie said, alarmed. "I didna mean to make ye laugh! Christ, Jenny will kill me if ye cough up… — Diana Gabaldon Copy Share Image
