Humor Quotes · Page 475

“In love? You're crazy, and even if you weren't, you're too young to get married.”

— Stacey Jay

Too often, these comedy guys now only care about getting on and then getting off and getting rich.

— Mort Sahl

“It was not healthy for one man's smile to make my panties spontaneously combust”

— Molly Harper

“When boy likes you, you say no thank you. You don't kick him on the ground.”

— Jenny Han

“Most unintelligent or foolish people do not regard themselves as that; they regard themselves as not-that-intelligent or not-that-wise.”

— Mokokoma Mokhonoana

It's true that laughter really is cheap medicine. It's a prescription anyone can afford. And best of all, you can fill it…

— Steve Goodier

I've had my own comedy series on telly and I know the truth about politics.

— Harry Enfield

If an audience is loud and in a party mode, that's an audience that can absorb comedy.

— Tom Green

“If a person leads an ‘active’ life, as Wiggs had, if a person has goals, ideals, a cause to fight for, then…

— Tom Robbins

Listen, here's my questions to anybody when they talk about comedy. When you are with your friends who don't judge you, what…

— Carlos Mencia

I think a shot can actually influence a scene in a huge way. For example, comedy is always better in a two-shot.…

— Emily Blunt

I was trampled to death by a man who believed his luggage would be the first piece off. If he were an…

— Erma Bombeck

We thought why don't we just make ourselves the marks of the show. Have our three friends turn the screws on each…

— Joe Gatto

“Very few conversations with Charles Dickens did not include a laugh from him. I had never met a man so given to…

— Dan Simmons

Pops added,you know, they say if you don't vote, you get the government you deserve. And if you do, you never get…

— Anonymous

“That sounds like the sin of pride, Marshal. Better run downstairs and let Miss December flog it out of you. Webcam it…

— Richard Kadrey

“You want some advice?" "Yes" "Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.”

— Michael Robotham

Sometimes strident, often tender, never afraid and seldom without humour, Desmond Tutu's voice will always be the voice of the voiceless.

— Nelson Mandela

Only Fools' wasn't just a comedy show, it became part of people's lives.

— Paul Whitehouse

Everyone goes through all kinds of relationship situations. I'm lucky that I get to be on two comedy shows [during divorce].

— Fred Armisen

“You are old and grey,” she teased. “And you’re never too immortal for a spanking,” he shot back...”

— Dianna Hardy

“The Whisper Factory is now hiring! Report your grandma for suspicious behavior and get PAID!”

— Jarod Kintz

There is hope for the future because God has a sense of humor and we are funny to God.

— Bill Cosby

“Incredible how small a room seems when you’re sharing it with a naked person.”

— Brett Hopson

The only non-believer I encountered was Oscar Levant who wouldn't visit Disneyland because he said he had his own hallucinations.

— Jack Paar

The Irish crowd and the humour, they really get it. Them riffing with 'The Room' makes the film watchable for me.

— Greg Sestero

“Why, without a sense of humour, you are blind to so much in the world. To human nature. To the absurdity of…

— Steven Erikson

“Maybe nobody went to see the Rolling Stones here in 1964,' said Ros. 'The dead shark was just too much fun.”

— Nick Hornby

“Usa de la intrare se inchise dupa el cu zgomotul unui sarut pe-un umar gol.”

— Vian, Boris

“I don’t care what other people think about me. Most people are idiots, and they can think whatever they want.”

— Ida Løkås

One of the pitfalls of a romantic comedy is that you know how it's going to end.

— Jason Segel

Swimming is not a sport. Swimming is a way to keep from drowning. That's just common sense!

— George Carlin

The future isn't just something that happens. It's a brutal force, with a great sense of humor, that'll steamroll you if you're…

— Cameron Crowe

In life, there's a ying and a yang and a balance. And when you don't have balance, you have comedy.

— George Lopez

From now on, we're home schooling you. Whatever we don't know, you don't know. When did the Korean War start? I don't…

— George Lopez

“Who shot at you?" Nick asked, taking in the stunned expressions on his staffers' faces. Why couldn't he have fallen for an…

— Marie Force

If you do not find me funny, that is your problem and I am not going away.

— Greg Proops

“Hey, Trash, what did old lady Semple say when you torched her pension check?”

— Stephen King

I find life a mix of humor and pathos, and all my books reflect that to one degree or another.

— Elizabeth Berg

“According to the magazine, if you turned the runes on their heads they revealed a spell to make your enemy's ears into…

— J.K. Rowling