“The simple trill of her laugh has not declined over the years; if anything it's been buffeted by her endless sorrows and… — Gary Shteyngart Copy Share Image
According to a brand new report, alcohol abuse in Ireland is on the rise. Mainly because the guy who didn't drink now… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
It's not the despair, Laura. I can take the despair. It's the hope I can't stand. ~ Brian Stimpson, Clockwise — John Cleese Copy Share Image
“Don't you oh well me,sir," Miss Maudie replied, recognizing Jem's fatalistic noises, "you are not old enough to appreciate what I said.” — Harper Lee Copy Share Image
Victoria Beckham looks like she has a dump once every four years. That's probably how David knows that there's a World Cup… — Frankie Boyle Copy Share Image
“THE MANAGEMENT REGRETS TO INFORM YOU THAT YOU ARE NO LONGER TECHNICALLY ALIVE.” — David Alan King Copy Share Image
“He inherited some good instincts from his Quaker forebearers, but by diligent hard work, he overcame them.” — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“When traveling, most people want fast and safe. But if slow and dangerous is your thing, have you considered a hot-air balloon?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
I find that I'm extremely unattracted to anything that's humorless. There is writing that is entirely serious, and it doesn't ring true… — Owen King Copy Share Image
And all the time - such is the tragic comedy of our situation - we continue to clamor for those very qualities… — C. S. Lewis Copy Share Image
Young stand-ups, we ought to do comedy in George Carlin's spirit, in Richard Pryor's spirit, in Jackie Gleason's spirit, in Lucille Ball's… — Tracy Morgan Copy Share Image
Comedy is really what I enjoy the most. And it's what I find hardest. Finding the comedy in a situation is always… — Jake Gyllenhaal Copy Share Image
Comedy is much harder, it's a lot more exacting. You can't just be real and you can't just use the same kind… — Jack Nicholson Copy Share Image
“Now see here, Guy,” said the voice, “you’re not dealing with any dumb two-bit trigger pumping morons with low hair-lines, little piggy… — Douglas Adams Copy Share Image
“For their never-ending endeavours to obtain or retain wealth, countries desperately need companies, because they—unlike most human beings—have the means of production,… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
“What kind of husband would I be if I bet against my own marriage?' I smiled. 'The stupid kind. Didn't you listen… — Jamie McGuire Copy Share Image
For me, I wanted to write a book about getting into comedy. That's what I wanted to write. — Lee Mack Copy Share Image
Certainly in my appetite for more challenges, it's very much alive. I love comedy and it comes to me in a natural… — Shawn Levy Copy Share Image
It is bad to suppress laughter. It goes back down and spreads to your hips. — Fred Allen Copy Share Image
“Hartnell's was for drinking. And you could get any drink you wanted, as long as it was beer.” — Andy Weir Copy Share Image
“There are only two kinds of people in this world who want to be miserable: poets and method actors.” — Steve Kaplan Copy Share Image
“Dating Tip: act like you are playing hard to get your whole life and then die alone” — Rob Huebel Copy Share Image
'Breaking In' is a very different office comedy and a caper comedy. Aside from 'Chuck,' there is no half-hour comedy that does… — Adam F. Goldberg Copy Share Image
“If you don't want to keep him, then pretend he's a book. Enjoy him for two weeks, then return him” — Shannon Stacey Copy Share Image
I've spent the last few years just really actively pursuing comedy and that's something I always wanted to know how to do. — Virginia Madsen Copy Share Image
It's fun to be able to have a fun palate, and the way I say that, you think about it and it… — Joey Fatone Copy Share Image
The rules of comedy are, don't complain, it's a brilliant job. You complain, and you're seen as losing touch with reality. — Lee Mack Copy Share Image
A car hit a Jewish man. The paramedic says, "Are you comfortable?" The man says, "I make a good living." — Henny Youngman Copy Share Image
But only in their dreams can men be truly free. It was always thus and always thus will be. — Robin Williams Copy Share Image
If my boss paid me in Trident Layers, I'd probably have to kick his ass. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If something's awful, I find it funny. If something's funny, I find it funny. It's my natural, go-to place. — Roisin Conaty Copy Share Image
“Whoa," Thomas said, feeling bolder by the minute. "Slim it nice and calm there, old fella. You look three steps away from… — James Dashner Copy Share Image
Comedy is a great tool. We [comics] are trying to find ways to use humor to enlighten people without preaching to them. — Trevor Noah Copy Share Image
A long, exact, and serious comedy; In every scene some moral let it teach, And, if it can, at once both please… — Alexander Pope Copy Share Image
ESPN is all meat and potatoes. It's pretty much scouting reports. There isn't a great deal of humor, and when there is,… — Frank Deford Copy Share Image
“Bercelak’s kin kept themselves busy by sharpening weapons, reading, talking, or setting things on fire with small bursts of flame.” — G.A. Aiken Copy Share Image
“when you get something from a ship its called CARgo. if you get something from a car its called SHIPment” — Elisabeth Austin Copy Share Image
A hotel is a place that keeps the manufacturers of 25-watt bulbs in business. — Shelley Berman Copy Share Image
“If a man tells you that he is fond of the Imitation , view him with sudden suspicion; he is either a… — Ronald A. Knox Copy Share Image
“Because that’s where I keep my Great Big Book of Manners by Emily Post and I want to beat you with it.” — Susan Bischoff Copy Share Image
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