Humor Quotes · Page 393

Why can't we give the American people a break and separate humor from politics?

— Dan Crenshaw

There's a humorous side to every situation. The challenge is to find it.

— George Carlin

“We've all got trashy friends, but we should choose our trashy friends with more care.”

— Dominick Dunne

“I think there is a difference between comic essays and war reporting, and people can tell that.”

— David Sedaris

“-The Lord says to forgive is devine. -The Lord didn't go to high school with you.”

— Dakota Cassidy

“I was court-martialed in my absence, and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my…

— Thomas Hardy

If you are an adult, and you are planning to dress up on Halloween... don't. I will find you. I will hurt…

— Lewis Black

“too much alcohol hampers people's ability to parent. That's why I've chosen to remain childless.”

— Kyra Davis

What more ghastly image can be called up than that of a man betrayed by his body who, simply because he did…

— Albert Camus

The humorist who invented trial by jury played a colossal practical joke upon the world, but since we have the system we…

— Mark Twain

Laughter on American television has taken the place of the chorus in Greek tragedy. In other countries, the business of laughing is…

— Jean Baudrillard

I like variety, which is frustrating. But I've always been picky. I was afraid Pirates would be too much like Twentieth Century,…

— Kevin Kline

“Of course it's juggling,” the man in motley was saying [...] “You know what your problem is, Sir Grenall? You've been seduced…

— Gerald Morris

The genius of the Spanish people is exquisitely subtle, without being at all acute; hence there is so much humour and so…

— Samuel Taylor Coleridge

“You're missing the point! ... We could make it rain cupcakes from the sky! Raspberry-jam pies would grow on trees, and chocolate…

— Lisa Mantchev

“(Frances has gotten out of bed again and come to her parents' room...) 'How can the wind have a job?' asked Frances.…

— Russell Hoban

“To die famous is the goal of the immortal. To die young is the goal of the healthy. To die memorably is…

— Bauvard

God always comes up with a third act twist -- and we won't know until we die whether the play was a…

— Joan Rivers

If anything had happened to Bob, I wouldn't have carried on. Me and Bob are a comedy unit.

— Vic Reeves

“... my heart skips a beat. Seriously, like a CD from the public library, it goes ZZebbTTT and skips.”

— Brent Crawford

I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn't know.

— Mark Twain

I've done comedy most of my career, which I love, but I wanted to expand.

— Katey Sagal

I was able to read poets that were - allowed me to be humorous without being silly.

— Billy Collins

One matter Englishmen don't think in the least funny is their happy consciousness of possessing a deep sense of humor.

— Marshall McLuhan

“Gay people should be allowed to get married. Just because somebody's gay doesn't mean he shouldn't suffer like the rest of us”

— Jeff Shaw

Paul Rudnick is a champion of truth (and love and great wicked humor) whom we ignore at our peril.

— David Sedaris

“Jesca returned the smile. 'You are a brave one--or perhaps foolhardy.' 'Difficult to tell,' Cope said cheerily.”

— Steve Rzasa

It is always exciting when you find someone who is really enthusiastic about being half of a comedy team.

— Seth Rogen

“That's one small step for a man ... but a really big step ... for a baby.”

— Harlowe Pilgrim

“Bad improvisers block action, often with a high degree of skill. Good improvisers develop action."(p.115)”

— Malcolm Gladwell

You can always tell somebody's sense of humor by if they like this movie or not.

— Kurt Russell

I once asked my father for a dollar for the school picnic. He told me how he once killed a grizzly bear…

— Bill Cosby

“The na at the end of banana annoys me as much as it would you if it were bananana.”

— Lance Manion

“Every time I hear about somebody who wins a never-work-again sum in the lottery but keeps his or her day job I…

— Amy Elizabeth Smith

“The Nevernever," she murmured, almost to herself, "I'm in the Nevernever. I'm in freaking faeryland.”

— Julie Kagawa

“Color is powerful. It is almost physiologically impossible to be in a bad mood when you're wearing bright red pants.”

— Jessi Arrington

“Buddy I have lived through three wars and several major political skirmishes. You can't beat me down with your boring-to-death sales pitches.”

— Anissa Rafeh

I wanted to do a film which was in the not-so-serious zone and wanted to try comedy.

— Akshara Haasan

“Just think how it would look if a reader walked into a café you'd recommended and found it taken over by vegetarians.”

— Anne Tyler

“Coitus interruptus by SWAT team. At last a form of birth control that was one hundred percent reliable.”

— Laura Lippman