Humor Quotes · Page 394

I like the authentic punk dance you did there. It's like a child dizzy off lemonade

— Russell Howard

“Their patch was a molecule with fangs under the words exite! chemicus sum! Which was Latin for, Back off, man! I'm a…

— Larry Correia

So I went down the local supermarket, I said "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it", he…

— Tim Vine

“Lucas shook his head. "We haven't caught him yet. We're still looking." "Every ship but your four fastest," I murmured to myself.”

— Cassie Alexander

I love being my silly ole self! Lifes a lot better when you have a good sense of humor and you smile.

— Anonymous

Any time there's a lot of pressure, it's life and death, you go toward this very dark kind of humor. Soldiers do…

— Ronald Perelman

I have always felt that the rise of what became known as alternative comedy was born out of the loins of the…

— Tony Robinson

After the first few readings in comedy venues I did begin to write for laughs. There's something so gratifying about stimulating laughter.

— Aaron Belz

I like the rhythm of comedy in dramas, if that makes sense. In other words, I don't want to write setup, punch,…

— Rob Thomas

“Cole!" Cassandra smacked him on the shoulder. "Wha-?" When he opened his mouth all you could see was half-chewed goo. "How old…

— Jennifer Rardin

My friends once told me I remind them of the main character from the American comedy series 'Curb Your Enthusiasm.' I thought…

— Anushka Sharma

The whole idea of comedy, there is nothing normal about going up on stage to make strangers laugh. But I'm also not…

— Jim Gaffigan

“...I haven't guessed where your shirt is from yet Bane, but I don't think it'll matter once it's underwater!' Tristan looked at…

— S.K. Munt

I was a huge fan of comedy and movies and TV growing up, and I was able to memorize and mimic a…

— Hank Azaria

“To put it another way, language is a tool box and swearing is a hammer. You can try to pound a nail…

— Melissa Mohr

I don't think I could ever do a network sitcom because the humor is often based on some trite circumstance. I don't…

— Sherilyn Fenn

I sometimes wonder if necrophiliacs are really into dead people or if they just enjoy the quiet.

— Doug Stanhope

“The most powerful sex organ was the brain, you know what that means Poor Justin!”

— Sarah Strohmeyer

“Ish #21 "Stop saying the only meat you eat is chicken. It's still meat!”

— Regina Griffin

I'll watch a Keanu Reeves movie and I'll go, 'Wow, he's really not a very good actor!'

— Ashton Kutcher

“Shit,” he said as if she were being funny. “I’m not going near that door. Looks like the devil farted pure hell…

— A.R. Wise

“It's one thing if your hobby is to put ships inside a bottle, but a deer in the headlights!... That's a real…

— Josh Stern

We think our fathers fools, so wise we grow. Our wiser sons, no doubt will think us so.

— Alexander Pope

“But he's nice," Barby objected. Tom Bishop smiled without humor. "Most pleasant and interesting man I ever knew was a burglar.”

— John Blaine

“Oh. My. God. I kissed a prince, I flipping kissed a prince! I flipping tongued him!”

— Luella Christie

“You have no tail!" said Brightspot. her own whipped suddenly forward; she stared, first at it, then at Wilson."How do you manage?”

— Janet Kagan

“You can keep the ‘aww’ without having the ‘eww,’ creating a stronger plot!”

— Kaylee Stepkoski

I'm not a broad comedy guy. I've been funny in movies, but I'm not a comedian. I'm an actor who's sometimes funny.

— Matthew Lillard

Having a sense of humor is a part of being courageous. It's a source of strength.

— Kerry Kennedy

I'm not a bad student, my study breaks are just longer than my study time!

— Anonymous

I don't think people understand what comedy is supposed to do. We will observe things, we will make fun of things.

— Neal Brennan

The number one premise of business is that it need not be boring or dull. It ought to be fun. If it's…

— Tom Peters

“How many great gems were lost to thought and not put down to pen. You can but think of just a few…

— L.F. Young

“In my opinion, we don't devote nearly enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks.”

— Bill Watterson

I don't think that because you die and move on to somewhere else that you lose your sense of humor.

— Peter Jackson

“Even though it was a tiny role, I was very proud to be a part of the comedy, which became a cult…

— Anjelica Huston

Wow this place is really big isn't it? They must do proper stuff here, like opera and all that...shite.

— Dylan Moran

“How well I know you by your deeds and how invariably you succeed in living down to what one expects of you!”

— Alexandre Dumas

“Hrun the Barbarian, who was practilly an academic by Hub standards in that he could think without moving his lips.”

— Terry Pratchett

Sometimes I make my life a living hell by writing complex stories with complex characters. But I love it.

— Anonymous