“You know that's why mermaids swim around topless all the time, right? It's because their boobs are too big and all bras… — H.M. Ward Copy Share Image
There is a point in portraying surface vulgarity where tragedy and comedy are very close. — Barbara Stanwyck Copy Share Image
I hope we get to the bottom of the answer. It's what I'm interested to know. — George W. Bush Copy Share Image
“A cat is friendly in a hollow sort of way, like the way a prostitute is friendly.” — Jonathan-David Jackson Copy Share Image
My friends know that I have a silly sense of humour and I can be a little vulgar at times - but… — Carmen Electra Copy Share Image
“'Having' Your Cake…a little perverted… 'Eating' it too…a lot perverted!” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“We had an unspoken love for one another. Probably because she’d never talk to me or return my phone calls or texts. ” — Dark Jar Tin Zoo Copy Share Image
“People can never be educated with education, they can only be educated with humor.” — Sneha Mehta Copy Share Image
Benjamin: I'm glad to hear your witirng experiment inspired you to read more. Reading is the best way to learn to write.… — Mamahooana Copy Share Image
When it comes to this business and becoming a comedy superstar, I've never really thought about things holding me back. I think… — Retta Copy Share Image
“How are we going to get out of here?" "Oh, escape is easy once you have the right plan." " Do we… — Derek Landy Copy Share Image
“Mitchell sanders was sitting under a banyan tree and using a thumbnail to pry off all the body lice, working slowly, carefully… — Tim O'Brien Copy Share Image
The gusto of one, the indignation of the other; the challenge of the one party, the response of the other; the eloquence… — Theodore White Copy Share Image
“I mean, I kind of feel alphas are the romance equivalent of an impulse buy. It looks great in the shop but… — Alexis Hall Copy Share Image
“I don't put up with being messed around, and I don't suffer fools gladly. The short version of that is that I'm… — Robin McKinley Copy Share Image
“Now, here's what we do. You and I will find a back way out of this place. If we come across someone… — Jennifer Rardin Copy Share Image
A woman gets stretch marks from one of two things. Either she was big and got small or she was small and… — Katt Williams Copy Share Image
Be careful of men who are bald and rich; the arrogance of "rich" usually cancels out the nice of "bald". — Rita Rudner Copy Share Image
“This is how I lose weight: Time to raid the stores and buy as much junk food as I can! OOPS! Oh,… — Sarah Willey Copy Share Image
A friend will help you move a couch but a true friend will help you hide a dead body. — Libby Hinrichs Copy Share Image
“There is nothing in which people more betray their character than in what they find to laugh at.” — Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Copy Share Image
Comedy or villain, the role does not matter as long as it is challenging. — Paresh Rawal Copy Share Image
“Crunches are an exercise where you lie on your back and angrily try to head-butt your crotch.” — Matthew Inman Copy Share Image
“I feel like I should have a formation and make the plantoon sergeants demonstrate how to put a condom on the correct… — Jessica Scott Copy Share Image
“This wasn't just plain terrible, this was fancy terrible. This was terrible with raisins in it.” — Dorothy Parker Copy Share Image
Seriousness is no more a guarantee of truth, insight, authenticity or probity, than humour is a guarantee of superficiality and stupidity. — Stephen Fry Copy Share Image
“I guess it’s worth a shot.” More than likely a wasted bullet, but I’ll fire anyway.” — Brandy Nacole Copy Share Image
My parents put us to sleep by tossing us up in the air. Of course, you have to have low ceilings for… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Good acting is thinking in front of the camera. I just do that and apply a sense of humor to it. You… — Charles Grodin Copy Share Image
“It felt like life had thrown a pie right in my face. And that pie was full of bricks.” — Molly Harper Copy Share Image
Rock n' roll is at a standstill, I think - and comedy is taking its place as something exciting. — John Belushi Copy Share Image
I’m not a religious person; I would call myself an atheist. I don’t have a good story behind it, I’m just reasonable. — Anthony Jeselnik Copy Share Image
Before comedy, I worked at a tech company, and before that, I worked on Wall Street. And, honestly, I've never really been… — Michelle Wolf Copy Share Image
“laughter and a sense of humor as a universal index of spiritual development.” — Dalai Lama XIV Copy Share Image
“But she had, as I have told you, the glimmerings of a sense of humor—which is simply another name for a sense… — L.M. Montgomery Copy Share Image
“Do you think city hall would take battling dragons as a excuse to waive a fine?” — Sharon Ashwood Copy Share Image
“I could feel parts of my body that had never sweated before break out in nervous droplets.” — Sarah Jamila Stevenson Copy Share Image
“Most poor people do not really aspire to end poverty; they merely aspire to escape it.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
“Blood and I have an unspoken agreement. It stays inside the body, and I don’t throw up. Once it escapes, the agreement… — Nicolette Pierce Copy Share Image
You have antiheroes in dramas, like Tony Soprano. But it's a little bit harder in comedy. You don't see it quite as… — Christopher Miller Copy Share Image
