I think we're all good and bad, but good's not funny. Bad is funny. Suppress the good and let the bad out,… — Larry David Copy Share Image
A friend will call you an idiot, but a best friend will not only call you one, but act like one with… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
I used to think it was clever to confuse comedy with tragedy. Now I wish I could distinguish them. — John le Carre Copy Share Image
The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that, you've got it made. — Jean Giraudoux Copy Share Image
“Don't kill her now, just when we've gone to all that trouble to rescue her," said Jeffrey.” — Jeanne Birdsall Copy Share Image
Life gets so ridiculous, you just have to brush it off like sand and laugh. I think the laughter is good medicine… — Ace Antonio Hall Copy Share Image
“Oh my God, Tanner! Do you really care what kind of underwear he’s got on? Let’s talk about your goddamn outline!” — Christina Lauren Copy Share Image
“Lisa blamed Twilight , and the preconceived notions about men (especially dangerous men) that it tended to form in the impressionable adolescent mind.” — Nenia Campbell Copy Share Image
“(…) met the owner of this cozy book-and-candle Apt. G, a tall, leggy, striking girl named Bea or maybe just the letter… — Jess Walter Copy Share Image
“The more excited I get, the more I vibrate." "Now there's a thought," Lor says. "If you mean what I think you… — Karen Marie Moning Copy Share Image
“While “Yes madam,” or “At your service, sir,” might boost your ego, obsequiousness can also distract you from your project’s needs—and remember,… — Dmytro Zaporozhtsev Copy Share Image
“Bless the bright eyes of your sex! They never see, whether for good or bad, more than one side of any question;… — Charles Dickens Copy Share Image
“Allison's eyes dart between me and the knives. Yeah, lady, a couple of hours in jail and I've moved from destruction of… — Katie McGarry Copy Share Image
A life that partakes even a little of friendship, love, irony, humor, parenthood, literature, and music, and the chance to take part… — Christopher Hitchens Copy Share Image
“Paranormal. It rolls off the tongue with such poetry but it means something like, beyond normal. There is nothing paranormal about magic.… — Marcy L. Peska Copy Share Image
“Did the guy who invent the shower cap also invent the fitted bed sheet?” — Gregor Collins Copy Share Image
Goth Juice... The most powerful hairspray known to man. Made from the tears of Robert Smith. — Noel Fielding Copy Share Image
Humor is a social lubricant that helps us get over some of the bad spots. — Steve Allen Copy Share Image
“I try to imagine what type of girl Connor would seek, but she seems unfathomable--like a hazy picture with only her brain… — Becca Ritchie Copy Share Image
If they make it illegal to wear the veil at work, bee keepers are going to be furious. — Milton Jones Copy Share Image
“Conflict of interest. I wanted to date somebody who was less screwed up than me, and she wasn't.” — Jason Krumbine Copy Share Image
“Everything, everything that you experienced up to this point is gone – gone – so go on.” — Art Hochberg Copy Share Image
If teachers can't teach every subject, why do students have to Iearn them all? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I like an English sense of humor: dry, dirty, a little bit off. That's kind of my taste. — Brooklyn Decker Copy Share Image
My fam is just a regular family. But all of them have great senses of humor. — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
“I wush for his own sake that he'd have a big steaming cup of calm the hell down.” — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Marriages can survive without love, but they cannot survive without forgiveness, fortitude, and a good sense of humor.” — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I gave my wife a kiss this morning. She jumped out of bed and did a lap of honour. — Frank Carson Copy Share Image
My dad is a really funny guy, and we would make jokes about my leukemia. When my friends would come over, we… — Vanessa Bayer Copy Share Image
“Are you sure you weren't adopted?" "Mom would like to think so, but it was a natural birth, so her memory's real… — Jana Deleon Copy Share Image
“Evil influence is like a nicotine patch, you cannot help but absorb what sticks to you.” — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It upsets me where you do a take and people go 'that's so funny,' and you think 'I was being serious.' — Tom Bateman Copy Share Image
“Wiping the rivulet of sweat running down my ear with the bottom of my muscle shirt, I snuck a sniff under my… — Julie Anne Peters Copy Share Image
“He's not a total idiot. In fact, he has a good head on his shoulders. He thinks like a woman, most of… — Robert Jordan Copy Share Image
There is no place in the world, I imagine, for a philosopher with a sense of humor, a new leisure, and an… — Mary Roberts Rinehart Copy Share Image
A recent study announced that 52 per cent of all teens who sign virginity pledges recant them within twelve months. If I'm… — Tina Fey Copy Share Image
Politicians can do more funny things naturally than I can think of to do purposely — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
People say that beauty is on the inside, but I would prefer a pretty face over a pretty kidney. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Ma didn't think puns were funny but couldn't help laughing at the naughty look Pa gave her when he made one.” — Laura Ingalls Wilder Copy Share Image
