Three blind mice walk into a pub. But they are unaware of their surroundings, so to derive humour from it would be… — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
I didn't set out to write some female-empowering movie; I just wanted to write a funny college comedy. — Kay Cannon Copy Share Image
“Besides, when did you become an expert on men, miss hide-herself-away-in-the-study?” — Sarah Jane Avory Copy Share Image
If there is a god, I think he has a sense of humour. He does not require human beings to protect him… — James K. Morrow Copy Share Image
“I never understood a lot of things less complicated than why people put up with each other." -- Songs From Richmond Avenue” — Michael Reed Copy Share Image
TheBiggestLies Classmate: Do you have any gum? ; Me: Nah man, I got it from someone else. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
We will allow private and religious groups to compete to provide services in every federal, state and local social program. — George W. Bush Copy Share Image
“A full glass of patience with a pinch of sarcasm is all you need to deal~” — Tanya Gambhir Copy Share Image
Imitation is the best form of flattery; people generally understand that my comedy is not intended to hurt anybody. Occasionally, an actor… — Vivek Copy Share Image
I think probably the most difficult challenge was just the climb and rise in show business because I went through my entire… — Steve Martin Copy Share Image
“It was not just that he had terrible style: he also gave the impression that he was deliberately desecrating the very idea… — Haruki Murakami Copy Share Image
The torture that they are coming up with in China is so creative. They have this other method where they'll take a… — Kristen Schaal Copy Share Image
25, 30 years ago, that meant something, they were making some money. And they were doing all sorts of comedy, screaming at… — Bob Saget Copy Share Image
To be honest, I never, ever thought I'd ever do comedy. I was so frequently cast early on as a high-born young… — Leslie Nielsen Copy Share Image
“If you're anorexic, you're doing it wrong." I swat him with a dish towel. "No, no, I mean anorexics look in the… — Jen Lancaster Copy Share Image
“ Pamela Anderson : 'He called and called, leaving about twenty messages, just drunk dialing. One of them was him singing his… — Tommy Lee Copy Share Image
“And what if that news anchor is creepy? He's too smooth, and he has that hairpiece.” — Leila Howland Copy Share Image
“He who knows all the answers, but none of the questions is like a large gobbling bird on Thanksgiving.” — Jayce O'Neal Copy Share Image
The meek may inherit the earth, but at the moment it belongs to the conceited. Like me. — Cassandra Clare Copy Share Image
It's easier to sit there and say you don't like feminists because they don't have a sense of humor. — Joan Jett Copy Share Image
Marriage is like a violin. After the beautiful music is over, the strings are still attached. — Jacob Braude Copy Share Image
I am a Catholic. Basically, the Catholic religion is 'If it feels good - stop.' — Adam Ferrara Copy Share Image
“Nothing can be made idiot proof. Idiot resistant perhaps, but never idiot proof.” — M.J. Marsh Copy Share Image
You're 28, why are you going to goth clubs? Do what I do, sit at home & wait to die. You don't… — Adam Carolla Copy Share Image
Getting into comedy was difficult for my parents to comprehend. I think now they are really proud I stuck to it. — Yvonne Orji Copy Share Image
“disclosure: (n.) when they finally tell us everything and nothing changes.” — Sol Luckman Copy Share Image
“My acupuncturist once told me that it doesn't have to hurt to work. She might have meant the needles, but I think… — Erica Goros Copy Share Image
“It is really surprising what may be done in the home with a small can of paint, if you aren't careful.” — Will Cuppy Copy Share Image
“Absurdly, I punched it because nothing hurts a jellyfish more, nothing affronts their sense of dignity, than an underwater punch in the… — David Nicholls Copy Share Image
I realized comedy is toughest thing to handle, although I started with theatre and did several stage plays. — Adithya Menon Copy Share Image
Most of my comedy writing happens through improvisation on stage; doing it in the moment. — Marc Maron Copy Share Image
There is no defense against adverse fortune which is so effectual as an habitual sense of humor. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Doing comedy is very difficult and if you do it perfectly you can do any kind of roles. — Brahmanandam Copy Share Image
“She had what I'd call a lemming ass - that is, an ass that you would follow right over the edge of… — Andrew Davidson Copy Share Image
“Yes I am sure I am Super Woman now add more Spanx to the spandex in my suit please ;)” — Kim Cormack Copy Share Image
The dentist drills some more and you hear him make a mistake. And to cover it up, they all say the same… — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
The more trouble you get a man into, the more comedy you get out of him. — Harold Lloyd Copy Share Image
“This is best thing about being manly: it's so easy to fake. Smear some oil on your face, or nod and say… — Danny Wallace Copy Share Image
“If I were to be honest, I'm probably fifty percent bagel. Okay, fine, sixty percent.” — Christy Hall Copy Share Image
“Illegitmi non carborundum ..O sea "que los carbones no te quemen tus legumbres" CANTINFLAS” — CANTINFLAS Copy Share Image
