As soon as I heard the term 'comedy nerd,' I'd hoped there was a lot of them. — Pete Holmes Copy Share Image
I love my fed-ex guy cause he's a drug dealer and he don't even know it...and he's always on time. — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
Has anyone else ever noticed the Krusty Krab is located in bikini bottom?, that can't be a coincidence, can it? — Brii Ann Copy Share Image
“Finally, Jace suspects it's a bad sign that he is referring to himself in the third person.” — Swati Avasthi Copy Share Image
“That lot upstairs couldn't organize a booze-up in a brewery, let alone come up with a plan to save the Nine Worlds.” — Helen Stringer Copy Share Image
My friend named his car. And I don't want to be judgemental, but... what a dork. — Demetri Martin Copy Share Image
“Accept the fact that girls squeal when they're happy or confused or excited or scared or because they just saw a certain… — Harry H. Harrison Jr Copy Share Image
“Religious fasting is the best way to cure an anorexic's spirit: in heaven her condition will be normal.” — Bauvard Copy Share Image
“He likes you,” Miss Dove said, sounding surprised. “Yes,” Harry answered with an unhappy sigh. He had long ago accepted the fact… — Laura Lee Guhrke Copy Share Image
My sister would write plays, and I would act in them and perform them for my parents. They were on the comedy… — Camila Mendes Copy Share Image
“New Rule: Conservatives have to stop complaining about Hollywood values. It's Oscar time again, which means two things: (1) I've got to… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“There were people who believed their opportunities to live a fulfilled life were hampered by the number of Asians in England, by… — Stephen Fry Copy Share Image
“Well, it's nice to know that the Trolls made it this far south,' Ulath said. 'I'd hate to have to go looking… — David Eddings Copy Share Image
The more serious the situation, the funnier the comedy can be. The greatest comedy plays against the greatest tragedy. Comedy is a… — Mel Brooks Copy Share Image
“I continued toward Atlanta with a Merle Haggard C.D. playing on the stereo. They weren't great hosts, but those guys in The… — Ian McClellan Copy Share Image
They've gotta stop reporting wind chill. That's nonsense. It really is. I don't know where they came up with it, why they… — Lewis Black Copy Share Image
I like being a Baha'i who has an out-there sense of humor. God gives us talents and faculties, and making people laugh… — Rainn Wilson Copy Share Image
“I like to see an angry Englishman," said Poirot. "They are very amusing. The more emotional they feel the less command they… — Agatha Christie Copy Share Image
Like a welcome summer rain, humor may suddenly cleanse and cool the earth, the air and you. — Langston Hughes Copy Share Image
“People think I must be a strange person. This is not correct. I have the heart of a small boy. It is… — Stephen King Copy Share Image
“Helios thought he looked pretty hot, and he had an annoying habit of calling the sun his "chick magnet.” — Rick Riordan Copy Share Image
My mom likes playing this game called 'yell from four rooms away and get upset when I cant hear her'. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Ok some of yall should change costumes, cause fake is played out already. Happy Halloween! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I was named Class Clown in the high school yearbook, so I was always turning to comedy and laughter to heal and… — Guillermo Diaz Copy Share Image
For me, the ideal job as an actor would be something that is intrinsically a drama but to which I could bring… — Robert Picardo Copy Share Image
When Richard Pryor did comedy, it was like he was having a conversation. — Tracy Morgan Copy Share Image
“The scientific method is nothing more than a system of rules to keep us from lying to each other.” — Ken Norris Copy Share Image
“If you pull some lame-ass 'I'm your father' bullshit, right now, I'm going to lose it.” — Martin Leicht Copy Share Image
“Adults who use big words in order to seem intelligent are annoying, especially those who are not intelligent.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
“That's where your definition of attachment comes in. I'm in a monogamous relationship with two people.” — Robert Downs Copy Share Image
“I've got two backs, me - and I'm glad! Tits can be . . . mwa, I know, but they're always in… — Martin Amis Copy Share Image
“...but I was not very good at hiding my displeasure at mental sleepiness and mediocrity” — Carlene Bauer Copy Share Image
When I read a script, I have to see the funny, and if I can see it's funny, it helps me to… — Jessica Walter Copy Share Image
Creating a wonderful drama is an art form, while comedy is just entertainment. — Jason Reitman Copy Share Image
“I made this [letter] very long, because I did not have the leisure to make it shorter.” — Blaise Pascal Copy Share Image
“You thought giving a depressed prostitute a copy of Pretty Woman might help?” — Isa K Copy Share Image
“Rats! It's rainy outside, And to be a good fella Invite a smile so wide Nobody needs umbrella!” — Ana Claudia Antunes Copy Share Image
“It is the right of a traveller to vent their frustration at every minor inconvenience by writing of it to their friends.” — Susanna Clarke Copy Share Image
“I have only one complain with my self that i think m i a great thinker but can't do any thing .” — Arun k singh Copy Share Image
“A dirty and mean sense of humor first thing in the morning. I may learn to like you yet.” — Lorelei James Copy Share Image
![“I made this [letter] very long, because I did not have the leisure to make it shorter.” quote by Blaise Pascal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/90c/blaise-pascal-167_humor_i-made-this-letter-very-long-because-i-d_1053250.jpg)
