“Overheard at O'Banion's Beer Emporium: "Pardon me, darlin', but I'm writin' a telephone book. C'n I have yer number?” — Henry D. Spalding Copy Share Image
When you see Charlie Chaplin, he stays funny. He doesn't become drama, and so what really seems to endure is comedy. — Leslie Nielsen Copy Share Image
“I lost something magical in the process of growing up – my disillusionment.” — Bauvard Copy Share Image
“Whatever this guy was about to dish out, I was prepared to respond with, “Thank you, sir, and, may I have another?” — Nick Pageant Copy Share Image
For such a big chunk of my comedy career, I was very into the idea of ice and diamonds and silver. — Julio Torres Copy Share Image
“I feel like a cup of tea with no milk. I just had one. It was disgusting.” — Paul Colman Copy Share Image
I love doing comedy and I love watching comedy... I'm more inclined to go watch a Seth Rogen film than a serious… — Phoebe Tonkin Copy Share Image
“Leave already, because I'm on the verge of hypothetically kicking my foot up your ass, and I doubt the pain of it… — Devon Ashley Copy Share Image
“Generation to generation, these pseudo-revolutionaries could never handle not being the cool kids. Something was always wrong. No sense of humor, no… — Caspar Vega Copy Share Image
“Of course, when you shut off your brain from rational analysis, any book is dangerous. Taking literally ancient parables from thousands of… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“I used to have Santa and the whole coal thing, but between Wade and their father, the little shits get whatever they… — Ethan Day Copy Share Image
The humor for me is how far above your head the signature is - it's dislocated from the sign of the artist… — Laura Owens Copy Share Image
Nobody is here without a reason. I always had a different sensibility. I like a huge range of comedy - from broad… — Lily Tomlin Copy Share Image
“Magistra, if you save my student, I don't care a snap what you say about my heart. She snorted. "Typical of a… — Blake Charlton Copy Share Image
To me, the best comedies get a little dark, and the best thrillers are a little bit funny. So I'm not exactly… — Jon Watts Copy Share Image
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to Somebody Else, but when it happens to you, why it seems to… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
“Invisible guns, huh?" Kenji smirks. "That's cute. I don't think I ever went through that phase.” — Tahereh Mafi Copy Share Image
Plus, I love comic writing. Nothing satisfies me more than finding a funny way to phrase something. — Michael Pollan Copy Share Image
“That’s just how my brain works: words of wisdom are produced at random intervals, and always in times of great despair.” — Annabel den Dekker Copy Share Image
“I’m just glad you didn’t die while we were gone,” Brent said. “He’d be so pissed. And you know, you’d be dead.… — Bree Despain Copy Share Image
You do a movie and, even if it's not a comedy or it's not an action film, you get a little taste… — Ashley Greene Copy Share Image
“The cost of living is going up while the chances of living are going down.” — Flip Wilson Copy Share Image
“Man could be utterly beastly at times and his humour abysmally dark, morbid and demoniac. - Page 105, Blue Jeans” — Manisha Saxena Copy Share Image
I didn't make you look fat, not pushing yourself away from the table made you look fat. — Rock Cowles Caricaturist Copy Share Image
“It is never a bad thing to take up your fair share of space," said Mr. Bunny ambiguously.” — Polly Horvath Copy Share Image
There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet.… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I want to do a black comedy with Homi Adajania and also want to work with Vishal Bhardwaj, Imtiaz Ali and Anurag… — Kirron Kher Copy Share Image
The person I have admired the most in comedy terms would be Eric Morecambe, who is my total hero. — Dawn French Copy Share Image
“I used a light hand with my makeup because I wanted to look good without looking like a good time.” — Marta Acosta Copy Share Image
“If you wanna live a good life, start thinking positive and start talking positive. Use your brains and mind.” — Reason Makhubela Copy Share Image
“It was a little difficult to take him seriously when he sang along to a song about a woman taking another woman's… — Holly Hood Copy Share Image
“Fuckhead: The name’s MariKETA. Go to hell, The WITCH, doing a creepy spell somewhere right now.” — Kresley Cole Copy Share Image
Wit is a weapon. Jokes are a masculine way of inflicting superiority. But humor is the pursuit of a gentle grin, usually… — Frank Muir Copy Share Image
“― Abraticezamu! Senha incorreta. ― Abracadabra. Senha incorreta. ― lalala1? ― Oi.” — Filipe Russo Copy Share Image
“You there is such a thing as a door," I whispered. "You should try it some time.” — Chanda Hahn Copy Share Image
One night she told me to put out the garbage. I told her "you cooked it, you take it out". — Rodney Dangerfield Copy Share Image
“Don’t focus on the pain in the world, focus on what will keep you sane in the world.” — Art Hochberg Copy Share Image
“Saying that you do not remember something or someone is a less embarrassing or hurtful way of saying that you do not… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
“If opposites attract why is the church trying so hard to mirror the world?” — Lakesha Ruise Copy Share Image
“Whenever you feel the urge to cheat on your diet, think of Channing Tatum being your pool boy ...” — Care Blanchett Copy Share Image
