Good comics stick around. There are people who have TV shows that might be successful, but comics can't really fake it. If… — Wanda Sykes Copy Share Image
So we went to Atari and said, 'Hey, we've got this amazing thing, even built with some of your parts, and what… — Steve Jobs Copy Share Image
It's not preppies, cause I'm a preppie myself. I just don't like homosexuals. If you ask me, they're all homosexuals in the… — Al Franken Copy Share Image
Kenny G has a Christmas album out this year. Hey, happy birthday Jesus! Hope you like crap! — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
Murphy hung up and I said, to the still-open line, "Hey, if you've got someone watching my place, could you call the… — Jim Butcher Copy Share Image
The gym teacher's name was Mr. Caruso. Mr. Caruso did not speak English. He spoke 'Gym.' One day I was playing basketball… — Tommy Lasorda Copy Share Image
Mary is God's masterpiece. Have you ever walked into a museum where an artist was displaying his work? Can you imagine him… — Scott Hahn Copy Share Image
I snatched the paper away from Dopey. "Hey," he yelled. "I was reading that!" "Let somebody who can pronounce all the big… — Meg Cabot Copy Share Image
I'm the youngest, too. When you're the youngest of a big family, people are like, "You're the baby, you're spoiled!" The fact… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
Ryssa? How do you know her name was Ryssa? (Tory) Uh…I don’t. I just gave her a name. It seemed more polite… — Sherrilyn Kenyon Copy Share Image
Hey, thanks for stopping by," Howard said. "I'd offer you some tea and cookies, but all we have is boiled mole and… — Michael Grant Copy Share Image
Every comedian has a moment in his life when he realizes he's a little bit different from everyone else. It's like being… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
This can’t be happening. It’s just not possible. (Cassandra) Oh, well, let’s not have reality intrude now, shall we? I mean, hey,… — Sherrilyn Kenyon Copy Share Image
I get a message from Stephen Falk saying, "Hey, if I wrote a part for you in You're The Worst, would you… — Doug Benson Copy Share Image
Especially now, with 'Glee,' it's allowed a lot of kids to love music and performing at a young age. All ages watched… — David Archuleta Copy Share Image
I looked back at the previous 10 years and realized I had spent 10 years trying to convince kids to behave Christianly… — Phil Vischer Copy Share Image
Newly released transcripts reveal that President Nixon was drunk during the Arab-Israeli crisis of 1973. After hearing this, President Bush said, 'Hey,… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Hey," said Jace. who was sitting on an overturned speaker, looking at his cellphone, "do you want to see a photo of… — Cassandra Clare Copy Share Image
I checked my phone messages. Three in all. The first was from Joe. “Hey, Cupcake.” That was it. That was the whole… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
If I was a mechanic and someone called me and said their car would not start, I would say, "Hey - maybe… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
Hey Baby. Baby? You're kidding me, right? I was trying it out. No? No. — Cassandra Clare Copy Share Image
The first bowl of chocolate pudding was too hot, but Goldilocks ate it all anyway because, hey, it's chocolate pudding, right? — Mo Willems Copy Share Image
