It's very hard not to be condescending when you're explaining something to an idiot. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Why is Mitt Romney not bragging: 'I covered all these people'? Why can't the Democrats sell the idea, we're trying to make… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
What's going to be hard for the United States is that our policy for a long time has been a two-state solution;… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Why are we working so hard to preserve Iraq, a fake country to begin with? Why do we care whether this fake… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I don't understand how the Republican party is the party with the reputation for fiscal conservatism and fiscal sanity, when they're the… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Sex is too easy for women to get, and too hard for men. I mean, honestly, for a man to walk into… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
If you came into the theater believing in the talking snake, it's kind of hard to leave the theater still believing in… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
The truth can be hard to take, but we have an obligation to look and see what's going on, and, if we… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
On the show, I do a very serious thing. And a lot of people have a hard time reconciling that with what… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
The worst years of my life were the first two years I was doing standup. You're learning how to do, and you're… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
People sometimes say how standup is so hard, and I always tell them that it's hard at the beginning. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
One of the reasons I still do stand-up is because it was so hard in the beginning that I feel like it… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
A lot of people say they are dyslexic; some have to realize that they are just stupid. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I saw this anti-drug commercial that showed a kid smoking pot in his dad`s room with his friend. This kid finds a gun, the… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
To all conservative women out there: If you are so sure the embryo needed for stem cell research are precious human life that can't… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
You see, the difference is the Republicans' hatred of Obama is based on a paranoid feeling about what he might do, what he's thinking,… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
New Rule: There is no devil, so stop blaming your screw-ups on him. Last week, one of the biggest evangelical leaders in America, the… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
If we were a dog and God owned us, the cops would come and take us away. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“New Rule: The White House doesn't have to release the dead Bin Laden photos, but don't pretend we can't take it. We've seen pictures… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I don't hate America. I love America. I want it to be better. The only way we can get it to be better is… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“New Rule: Americans must realize what makes NFL football so great: socialism. That's right, the NFL takes money from the rich teams and gives… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
