Golfing Quotes

Golf is not, on the whole, a game for realists. By its exactitudes of measurements it invites the attention of perfectionists.

— Heywood Hale Broun

I'm in the woods so much I can tell you which plants are edible.

— Lee Trevino

If your opponent is playing several shots in vain attempts to extricate himself from a bunker, do not stand near him and…

— Harry Vardon

Happiness is a long walk with a putter.

— Greg Norman

A hole in one is amazing when you think of the different universes this white mass of molecules has to pass through…

— Mac O'Grady

Do not be tempted to invest in a sample of each golfing invention as soon as it makes its appearance. If you…

— Harry Vardon

Keep close count of your nickels and dimes, stay away from whiskey, and never concede a putt.

— Sam Snead

Golf is a game where white men can dress up as black pimps and get away with it.

— Robin Williams

My body is here, but my mind has already teed off.

— Keith Michael

Golf is 20 percent mechanics and technique. The other 80 pecent is philosophy, humor, tragedy, romance, melodrama, companionship, camaraderie, cussedness and conversation.

— Grantland Rice

Find a man with both feet firmly on the ground and you've found a man about to make a difficult putt.

— Fletcher Knebel

Go play golf. Go to the golf course. Hit the ball. Find the ball. Repeat until the ball is in the hole.…

— Chuck Hogan

Concentrate on hitting the green. The cup will come to you.

— Cary Middlecoff

I had a wonderful experience on the golf course today. I had a hole in nothing. Missed the ball and sank the…

— Don Adams

I'm about five inches from being an outstanding golfer. That's the distance my left ear is from my right.

— Ben Crenshaw

Baseball reveals character; golf exposes it.

— Ernie Banks

Half of golf is fun; the other half is putting.

— Peter Dobereiner

Graduation is a big deal-bigger than getting a hole-in-one while golfing. People might think you're lying about the hole-in-one, but when you…

— Anderson Cooper

Nothing goes down slower than a golf handicap.

— Bobby Nichols

I never learned anything from a match that I won.

— Bobby Jones

My favorite shots are the practice swing and the conceded putt. The rest can never be mastered.

— George Robertson, Baron Robertson of Port Ellen

I would like to deny all allegations by Bob Hope that during my last game of golf, I hit an eagle, a…

— Gerald R. Ford

The best advice I can give for playing a ball out of water is - don't.

— Tony Lema

Tips can make someone a better writer but not necessarily a good writer. That's a larger package - a matter of character.…

— William Zinsser

I found that golf saved me from going to the pub every day, so instead, I play golf with other unemployed actors.…

— Phil Daniels