Instead of saving for someone else's college education, I'm currently saving for a luxury retirement community replete with golf carts and handsome young male nurses who love butterscotch. — Jen Kirkman Copy Share Image
The urge that most people feel to have kids is the exact same as the urge that I have to not have kids. I… — Jen Kirkman Copy Share Image
“remember asking my mom when I was little if I could go live at this place in Boston called “The Home for Little Wanderers.”… — Jen Kirkman Copy Share Image
Couples without kids have each other, their friends, families, and Siri to talk to. It's not like they're quarantining themselves in an underground bunker,… — Jen Kirkman Copy Share Image
I used to make albums because I wasn't touring, and so I thought, "This is the best way for people to find out about… — Jen Kirkman Copy Share Image
Eventually I'm going to be too old to be on camera, and I've been doing stand-up a long time. — Jen Kirkman Copy Share Image
I don't want to have kids and so I am not going to have kids. People who want kids are going to have kids.… — Jen Kirkman Copy Share Image
I have this idyllic love life, but my mind just won't accept that. I would like to bring a new guy home every night.… — Jen Kirkman Copy Share Image
Its almost Thanksgiving! A day when you get to hear your extended family use racial slurs for groups are not taking away their jobs. — Jen Kirkman Copy Share Image
Actually, my friendships are changing because my friends have kids, so that's a new aspect to the material. Not just that I don't want… — Jen Kirkman Copy Share Image
As a woman of a certain age - and really, ever since I hit puberty and my baby-making parts were suddenly subject to public… — Jen Kirkman Copy Share Image
I'm not like Woody Allen like, "Oh my god what's going to happen? Ooh Ooh Oohhh." I'm just high-strung. So I do need to… — Jen Kirkman Copy Share Image
“I do not like being called “young” by someone who is only a couple of years older than I am, because what that really… — Jen Kirkman Copy Share Image
I'm wildly different than Maria Bamford or Sarah Silverman, and might be more similar to some male comics. — Jen Kirkman Copy Share Image
