Golf Quotes · Page 63

We all have experiences and memories from miniature golf. I had my first kiss at hole nine at Golfland.

— Jeannie Mai

How much golf I actually play depends on whom you ask. My wife says I'm out there every day. If you ask…

— Ricky Ponting

I am a big fan of Bournemouth, having enjoyed many happy hours on its sandy beach and crazy golf course.

— Victoria Coren Mitchell

Under most circumstances that would result in disqualification. If the rules of golf are upheld, I believe he should have been disqualified.

— Steve Williams

Hey, if your looking for a dad-burn superstar, look at this kid. He was so good today, I wanted to caddie for…

— Lee Trevino

Way, way, way back I played a little bit, but I am definitely not a golfer. You know, it just takes too…

— Robert Duvall

In golf, there are times when you hit a ball so perfectly that you never feel the ball leave your club.

— Adam Vinatieri

I use the computers to maximize my efficiency and establish a baseline for my swing, but once I'm on the course, I…

— Bryson DeChambeau

I always thought golf was a game reserved for the rich and the elite... But it's a misconception. It's a highly technical…

— Nawazuddin Siddiqui

There have been times when I played more than others, but I've been a road comic for a quarter of a century,…

— Ron White

More than anything else, though, to anyone who would write about it, golf offers a four-hour drama in two acts, which becomes…

— Alistair Cooke

There's no question that the galleries still like to see birdies and eagles. If you take them all away, it takes some…

— Arnold Palmer

There's a lot of fuss that comes with playing with Tiger, big crowds, noise and such. You either let it distract you,…

— Justin Rose

Years ago, children helped my brother search for his lost ball at Jackson Park Golf Course in Chicago - and even offered…

— Steve Rushin

I suppose to the outside world I do seem slightly obsessed. But I once had a balance problem with my inner ear,…

— Ronnie Corbett

The fourth tee brings out a mixture of excitement and anticipation, for about 220 yards down the fairway you catch a glimpse…

— Doug Ferguson

The difference between now and when I played during my younger days is my drives are shorter and my short game is…

— Simon Hobday

I never kick my ball in the rough or improve my lie in a sand trap. For that I have a caddie.

— Bob Hope

When five up express, as is polite, regret at laying a stymie, but rejoice in your heart.

— Charles Walter Simpson

The trouble that most of us find with the modern matched sets of clubs is that they don't really seem to know…

— Robert Browning

The shortest distance between any two points on a golf course is a straight line that passes directly through the center of…

— Confucius

I can beat any two players in this tournament by myself. If I need any help, I'll let you know.

— Babe Didrikson Zaharias

I always said you have to be really smart or really dumb to play this game well. I just don't know where…

— Beth Daniel

My mom's been having a hard time lately. She just found out that she has to have both of her breasts removed…

— Anthony Jeselnik

Both of us played basketball, and I played tennis and my knees are done. Now if you ask us head-to-head who wins…

— Michael Wilbon

The pressure makes me more intent about each shot. Pressure on the last few holes makes me play better.

— Nancy Lopez

I want to play golf, practice and not do much else. I don't drink, I don't smoke and I hate going places…

— Vijay Singh

I've spent more time playing golf than anything else the last 18 years. Just wanted to be an 80s-shooter. Got there, too.

— Jack Nicholson

I've seen lifelong friends drift apart over golf just because one could play better, but the other counted better.

— Stephen Leacock

I'll always remember the day I broke ninety. I had a few beers in the clubhouse and was so excited I forgot…

— Bruce Lansky

I realized that the secret to golf isn't how low you shoot when it's going good, it's how to make your bad…

— Notah Begay III

The golf ball has no sense at all, which is why it has to be given stern lectures constantly, especially during the…

— Dan Jenkins

Fifty years ago, 100 white men chasing one black man across a field was called the Ku Klux Klan. Today it's called…

— Alex Hay

Ever since they announced that golf would be returning to the Olympics, I thought, 'Hey, I wanna get myself on the team.'…

— Lydia Ko

I love getting up to my folks' house and playing golf with Dad. He's very involved with my off-course ventures, and I…

— Matt Kuchar

My kids have grown up knowing nothing other than me being gone all the time and playing in golf tournaments. That's what…

— Stewart Cink

You won't shoot nine under unless you birdie the first two or three holes. You just start firing at everything.

— Stephen Ames

Everybody has two swings: the one he uses during the last three holes of a tournament and the one he uses the…

— Toney Penna

I always thought of myself as some sort of athlete until I started playing golf a couple years ago.

— James Caan

You can play golf with liberals, be neighbors with them, go out to dinner. I just don't want them in power.

— Sean Hannity