We would write our songs, then we'd have a programmer come in and add, for lack of a better term, bloops and… — Tony Kanal Copy Share Image
All the ways you wish you could be, thats me, I look like you wanna look, I fuck like you wanna fuck,… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“What was that bit about fish sticks?” he asked, climbing back into the SUV. “Oh, pretty clever of her actually, though I… — Christina Garner Copy Share Image
I think there's something in the fact that it's hard to be good looking and funny. You have to have an oddball… — Chris O'Dowd Copy Share Image
It's funny, every time I start work on a new script, it feels like I'm going outside my comfort zone. But by… — Kelly Reichardt Copy Share Image
The original vocals had an awful lot of work put into them at the time, and I wasn't really sure that I… — Kate Bush Copy Share Image
“Just curious,she mouthed. "What? I didn't catch that." Jjuussttccuurriioouuss.She drew it out this time, hoping he'd be able to read her lips.… — Julia Quinn Copy Share Image
One can always come up with funny lists and jokes. You know what? I take it back. Not everyone can always come… — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
“Instead of the calendrical terms Monday, Tuesday and so forth, we cheerfully offer the following surrogates. Use them freely and often, for… — Mark Dunn Copy Share Image
It's a funny thing. I'll be in my home town of Columbus at a restaurant or something, and the waiter maybe asks,… — Tyler Joseph Copy Share Image
So I went to the Doctor's yesterday. He said, "What appears to be the problem?" I said, "I keep having this dream,… — Tommy Cooper Copy Share Image
I actually saw 'Piranha 3DD' - God, it's so weird saying that - and it's actually really surprising. It's really good. It's… — Chris Zylka Copy Share Image
A broken heart is what makes life so wonderful five years later, when you see the guy on the elevator and he… — Bernajoy Vaal Copy Share Image
It's funny how, as we get older, what become our fondest memories are not necessarily the happiest times of our lives but… — Michael McDonald Copy Share Image
“Shaga: How would you like to die, little man? Tyrion: In my bed, at the age of eighty with a belly full… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Life is brought down to the basics: if you are warm, regular, healthy, not thirsty or hungry, then you are not on… — Chris Darwin Copy Share Image
“you're afraid?" "Of course not!" "Good" Reven slapped him in the back. "Faint heart, never win fair lady!" "Dead heart never won… — Sage Blackwood Copy Share Image
The funny thing about New York City is that if you hide from her, she's just gonna say, 'Whatever, kid!' and leave… — Gavin Creel Copy Share Image
Every time I do a play, I'm like, 'When do I get to do the one where I wear a gown, sit… — Elizabeth Marvel Copy Share Image
Ned, have you considered any of the other major religions? They're all pretty much the same." --Reverend Lovejoy — Matt Groening Copy Share Image
At boarding school you had to wear your name across your chest and your back, and obviously I had a pretty funny… — Diane Cilento Copy Share Image
You have been summoned to court for trespassing my dreams, stealing my heart and robbing my feelings. If guilty: you are sentenced… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My first job was selling doors, door to door. That's a tough job isn't it? Bing Bong; Hello, can I interest you… — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
If you are offered the opportunity to do something that you don’t know how to do – say yes, dive in and… — Glen Keane Copy Share Image
This summer time in England has been like a dreaded one-night stand... Not very hot, extremely wet and gone before you know… — Ryan Swain Copy Share Image
Thomas is racing for it, but McCovey is there and can't get his glove to it. That play shows the inexperience, not… — Jerry Coleman Copy Share Image
I think 'Mrs. Brown's Boys' in particular is very good, though I do find that perhaps the language is a bit strong… — David Jason Copy Share Image
I think that the anti-Microsoft sentiment is simply due to their having been so successful selling a lot of crap. — Steve Wozniak Copy Share Image
“In a nice little house in Atro City there lived a man called Doktor Gleichstein. He was a kind of scientist, and… — Christina Engela Copy Share Image
“The Dimwit's Guide to the Female Mind might assist your efforts in understanding human females. But it must be pointed out that… — Anne Bishop Copy Share Image
“Okay, you gotta be nice to him, " I say, coaxing the white fur-ball into my hands. "I will," Nate says, and… — Cassie Mae Copy Share Image
It's funny, but I never knew I was hot or could be beautiful until I saw 'Basic Instinct,' and I was so… — Sharon Stone Copy Share Image
Don't make being a girl or a victim part of your stand-up act. If you encounter sexism in the business, don't bring… — Jen Kirkman Copy Share Image
A dear friend of my early childhood has worked as an anthropologist in Papua New Guinea for much of her life, and… — Michael Leunig Copy Share Image
Selling wine is all about sizing people up, and it takes a certain amount of chutzpah. The tableside bottle sell is a… — Joe Bastianich Copy Share Image
Boys, if you ask a girl who she likes and she says Oh nobody. 1% are telling the truth. 5% are lying.… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Oh all the time when Victoria Wood and I did our series. There were people asking 'Can women be funny?' People still… — Julie Walters Copy Share Image
“With a nod, Thorne started down the street. 'This way.' Five steps later, he paused, pondered, turned around. 'No, no, this way.'… — Marissa Meyer Copy Share Image
At a birthday party, Chuck Norris dared a kid to suck all the helium out of the balloons..Today, this kid is called… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“I pondered what else I should take for him. Flowers seemed wrong; they're a love token, after all. I looked in the… — Gail Honeyman Copy Share Image
