Funny Quotes · Page 88

The Woman is the Proletarian of the Proletariat

— Flora Tristan

Never take a blind date to a silent film.

— Geoffrey Parfitt

All things tend to corrupt perverted minds.

— Marcus Tullius Cicero

Went to the paper shop - it had blown away.

— Tommy Cooper

I'm for each and against none.

— Dwight D. Eisenhower

If you have power, you have to empower.

— Kanye West

You probably don't have much of a choice.

— Charles Petzold

You owe others a happy disposition

— Dennis Prager

I love because I care, I care because I love. If that's too much then your worthless and that's totally fair.

— Zabi Khojazada

I got off the plane - I was walking and cooking at the same time.

— Gabriel Iglesias

“The primary feature of women is not a 'beauty', it's a 'mystery'.”

— Amit Kalantri

I control the conditions so my testers become my testees.

— Derren Brown

What does a horse eat? Hay. What does a gay horse eat? Haaaaaaaaaaaaay!

— Itsme867

Men are like...Mini Skirts. If you're not careful, they'll creep up your legs.

— Anonymous

If A Girl Is Silent She Is Feeling Sad If A Boy Is Silent He Is Being Rude

— Nikhil Saluja

If you would rule the world quietly, you must keep it amused.

— Ralph Waldo Emerson

But women, you get hornier as you get older. It's weird, you wanna do all your sex in between the ages of…

— Patrice O'Neal

Handling a painful situation in a comedic way is truly the funniest. That is extremely real to me and not kind of…

— Will Ferrell

Beyond its entertainment value, 'Baywatch' has enriched and, in many cases, helped save lives. I'm looking forward to the opportunity to continue…

— David Hasselhoff

I have nothing wrong with comics and writers poking fun at the President, as long as it's funny. When it's the same…

— Lisa Kennedy Montgomery

It is always funny to me to gauge the reaction of the crowd when I dunk. I always hear the 'Whoas.' It's…

— Kevin Huerter

I'm bored -> Look at my phone -> No text? Check my twitter -> No mention? Check my Facebook -> No notification?…

— OhItsVynn

You can't teach standup comedy. You can teach someone how to formulate a joke, but making it funny is different.

— Jermaine Fowler

Yes. Yes, when we live our life like 1950s detective films. I often go to my fridge, "Hullo, we're out of milk.…

— Bill Bailey

I've been a fan of me ever since.

— Tom Kaulitz

Don't try to live. Let yourself be lived.

— Vernon Howard

Why'd you leave the match, huh?

— Lleyton Hewitt

With will one can do anything.

— Samuel Smiles

I see and approve better things, but follow worse.

— Ovid

Babysitting your child is all the birth control I need.

— Anonymous

I don't see the point of watching men exercise.

— Natasha Leggero

What, I got to amit this is some funny shit!!!

— Miranda

The future awaits those with the courage to create it.

— Erwin McManus

Whatever you say, say nothing.

— Colum McCann

Relationships are like fat people...they don't work out

— Green Monk

Don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are.

— Alanis Morissette

I'm terrified of being bored and not learning,

— Alexa Chung

I never went into business to make money.

— Amar Bose

I was not elected to serve one party.

— George W. Bush

Injustice anywhere is injustice everywhere.

— Kimbra