Being a musician is a given for me-I didn't have much choice in the matter. — Tom Morello Copy Share Image
Magic and all that is ascribed to it is a deep presentiment of the powers of science. — Ralph Waldo Emerson Copy Share Image
My knees on the ground, dear father, don't let me break, please make me stronger. — Rihanna Copy Share Image
I've got seven kids. The three words you hear most around my house are 'hello,' 'goodbye,' and 'I'm pregnant'. — Dean Martin Copy Share Image
I joke around a lot about the manic times because they're funny. We manics do outrageous things and it is part of… — Patty Duke Copy Share Image
God did not create woman as a s3x object for man. He created woman so that she may become his equal partner… — Mak_786 Copy Share Image
Let me tell you about gays in the military. I don't want any gay people hanging around me while I'm killing kids.… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
“What? What's so funny? Some idiot tried to put a stake through your heart, and he didn't even hit the darn thing!"… — Christine Feehan Copy Share Image
What's funny is that in the '90s, growing up in the black church, everyone around you was older, so your swag became… — Kirk Franklin Copy Share Image
Last night on the show I had Olympics fever. Unfortunately, it's getting worse. That's not good. I have to call my doctor… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
You know, I'm not very good at magic - I can only do half of a trick. Yes - I'm a member… — Tim Vine Copy Share Image
Michael Jackson died at 58,Whitney Houston at 48,John F. Kennedy at 38,Amy Winehouse at 28. How old is Justin Bieber again? 18 Right? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Hector Torrez, how can you communicate with Enzo Hernandez when he speaks Spanish and you speak Mexican? — Jerry Coleman Copy Share Image
Ive come to the conclusion that Mondays last 50% longer than the other days...each. — Turtle Dundee Copy Share Image
I used to be Irish Catholic. Now I'm an American - you know, you grow. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
A large section of the intelligentsia seems wholly devoid of intelligence. — Gilbert K. Chesterton Copy Share Image
We do not obtain the most precious gifts by going in search of them but by waiting for them. — Simone Weil Copy Share Image
I asked my wife if she enjoys a cigarette after sex and she said "No, one drag is enough". — Rodney Dangerfield Copy Share Image
Stop checking your phone nobody loves you! - me at the cinema to anyone checking their phone — Green Monk Copy Share Image
“I would have to hide in the jungle and live wild amoung the pandas” — Diane Messidoro Copy Share Image
Loose ladies on the road will drive you crazy, every no, becomes a maybe. — Eric Clapton Copy Share Image
To be aware of limitations is already to be beyond them. — Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel Copy Share Image
“No, I don't want you to leave. I'm just grabbing your coat and nudging your toward the door for fun #AHOLE” — Andy Ostrom Copy Share Image
I would not say he (David Ginola) is the best left-winger in the Premiership, but there are none better. — Ron Atkinson Copy Share Image
Ladies and gentleman are permitted to have friends in the kennel, but not in the kitchen. — George Bernard Shaw Copy Share Image
That one friend that can make anything funny just by the way they say it. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That's the nature of research you don't know what in hell you're doing. — Harold Eugene Edgerton Copy Share Image
The more I read, the more I was led to abhor and detest my enslavers. — Frederick Douglass Copy Share Image
Dude say grace next time you eat. Fine Ill say grace I see your girlfriend — Ross Ten Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when someone says something super funny and you react 2 minutes later — Anonymous Copy Share Image
