Dans une grande a" me tout est grand. In a great soul everything isgreat. — Blaise Pascal Copy Share Image
I didn't want to be a comedian. I was just funny. I jumped on stage and found out I was good at… — Eddie Griffin Copy Share Image
'I will not stand for being called a woman in my own house' she said. — Evelyn Waugh Copy Share Image
Having confidence is so important, because how you see yourself, is how others will see you too. — Fergie Copy Share Image
Weird people are funny. If you're just completely normal, you're boring. So I so much prefer weird people to boring people. — Bobbie Copy Share Image
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly; but when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and… — Tommy Cooper Copy Share Image
I survived 12 years of my life with no internet, but now I can't survive like 12 seconds waiting for a page to load. — Johnneil Bertrand Copy Share Image
Dear spiders, if I see you outside, I will let you live. But if I see you in my house, I will… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
What I like about the jokes, to me it's a lot of logic, no matter how crazy they are. It has to… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
My background is all comedy. I've been doing improv since I was 17. It's funny, because when I meet people, I'm known… — Derek Mears Copy Share Image
I don't care whether people say, ''The Office' is rubbish, 'Extras' is worse, 'Flanimals' is a waste of time. He's not funny;… — Ricky Gervais Copy Share Image
“We should go swimming," Anna says, out of the blue. (...) Danny looks at her like she just suggested knocking over the… — Hannah Harrington Copy Share Image
He or she who laughs last at the boss's jokes probably isn't far from retirement. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
No matter how many times I sayI hate you, just remember that you're really the only thing holding me together.. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I work in a "you scratch my back, and I'll stab yours" kind of a place. — Kevin Kelly Copy Share Image
Homework: do me, do me, do me, do me, do me Internet: dont listen to that slut — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sorry the closest your holiday comes to a spiritual figurehead is Adam Sandler — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Girl: ugh my throat really hurts. Boy: I bet your knees do too. Her: What? Boy: What? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I wouldn't take a bullet for you, because if I have time to jump in front of the bullet, you have time… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, The alliance of two people, one who never remembers birthdays, and the other who never forgets them; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when your phone goes dead in the middle of a interesting conversation... — Lonniedagreat Copy Share Image
When I was young I afraid of dark. Now when I see my electricity bill I'm afraid of light. — Anurag Prakash Ray Copy Share Image
This is a vast frontier that's going to take us awhile to understand. It was very lunar, desolated, isolated. — James Cameron Copy Share Image
You're all beautiful. And you shouldn't let anyone tell you otherwise. — Troye Sivan Copy Share Image
I coughed in the morning & then entered my symptoms on internet . Now according to WEBMD I will die tonight. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Laughing at your own texts before you send them because you are so damn funny. — Pawnrwt Copy Share Image
I've been told by so many women that I'm a great listener. A majority of them, have big boobs. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
If you can't be a good example . . . you'll just have to be a horrible warning — Ritu Ghatourey Copy Share Image
Have you ever noticed that your ugliest friend is most afraid of being raped? — Natasha Leggero Copy Share Image
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side got cut off? He's all right now. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
