24 hours in a day. 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not. Rehab is for quitters. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I usually try not to sound like an idiot but it's really hard because I am an idiot. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
A hick town is one where there is no place to go where you shouldn't go. — Alexander Woollcott Copy Share Image
I hate when an obese girl asks who I looks like. Her weight was 120 Kg, she looks like an elephant. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The easiest time to be funny is during a fairly serious situation. That way you can break the ice. — Adam McKay Copy Share Image
In ‘life,’ I don’t want to be reduced to my work. In ‘work,’ I don’t want to be reduced to my life. — Susan Sontag Copy Share Image
Women are like coconuts. Sometimes you have to hit them really fucking hard before they will spread open. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
A hilarious academic novel that'll send you laughing (albeit ruefully) back into the trenches of the classroom. . . . [A] mordant… — Maureen Corrigan Copy Share Image
I had a cordial relationship with all my heroes - some, like Jeetendra or Shatrughan Sinha, are very funny. Amitabh, on the… — Hema Malini Copy Share Image
I was inspired by comedy channels. I loved that they got to do sketches and could be funny and crude and make… — Eva Gutowski Copy Share Image
“WAIT, WAIT! JUST one more!” “Bliss, there are children waiting.” And they probably hated us, but I was just so glad to… — Cora Carmack Copy Share Image
TV is easier: it's all planned out for you, and the audience is there to see a show and they are all… — Drew Carey Copy Share Image
I've invented Twofacebook, the antisocial network. You start being friends w/entire world & defriend people one by one. — Andy Borowitz Copy Share Image
Well, I hope before Glenn goes, he'll come up here so we can give him a big hug and a kiss, because… — Jerry Coleman Copy Share Image
“The more you talk about it, rehash it, rethink it, cross analyze it, debate it, respond to it, get paranoid about it,… — Shannon L. Alder Copy Share Image
The Democrats planned to fiddle while Rome burned. The Republicans were going to burn Rome, then fiddle. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Your name still comes up at work whenever something goes horribly wrong and we don't want to take the blame. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I never like to be the same, whether it be comedy or drama, funny or serious. — Faith Prince Copy Share Image
Its funny how super mario can smash bricks with his head but dies when he touch a freaking small turtle! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If your shorts look like they're being eaten by your butt, they're not meant for you. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
But resist we much. We must, and we will much- about that- be committed. — Al Sharpton Copy Share Image
That awkward little dance You do when your trying to put on skinny jeans — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I was always thinking the funny things but was always quiet and scared to be made fun of. — Nikki Glaser Copy Share Image
Muslims must decide, lest they end up divided by the very religion that calls upon them to unite. — Tariq Ramadan Copy Share Image
You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
A lot of people dont think of my work as being all that funny, but I think its hilarious! — Fred Tomaselli Copy Share Image
“Impressive,' Ash murmured. I stared at him. 'What is?' 'You.” — Jennifer L. Armentrout Copy Share Image
Looking at my keyboard and I see that U and I are together but under them is JK — Ana Chable Copy Share Image
Without someone telling you what you are doing is wrong, you can't say what you are doing is right. — Andy Biersack Copy Share Image
Its really so funny that people who treat me like shit get offended when me finally do the same to them. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
You can only possess what you experience. Truth to be understood must be lived. — Charlie Peacock Copy Share Image
It's funny, but three of my early films were with Liam Neeson, before Liam Neeson was a big star. — Fred Melamed Copy Share Image
Drunken behavior will not be tolerated, except by those who are being hilarious. — Demetri Martin Copy Share Image
Don't ask yourself what you did wrong; ask yourself what you did right. — John Kessel Copy Share Image
![“A hilarious academic novel that'll send you laughing (albeit ruefully) back into the trenches of the classroom. . . . [A] mordant minor masterpiece. . . . Like the best works of farce, academic or otherwise, Dear Committee Members deftly mixes comedy with social criticism and righteous outrage. By…” quote by Maureen Corrigan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b4e/maureen-corrigan-30260_academic_a-hilarious-academic-novel-that-ll-send_1173622.png)
