Shakespeare said, "Kill all the lawyers." There were no agents then. — Robin Williams Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when your friends facebook wasn—t hacked, he just really loves penis — Unkown Copy Share Image
“He liked murder. Murder and long walks had been two of his favorite things when he was younger.” — Derek Landy Copy Share Image
They are going to surrender or be burned in their tanks. They will surrender, it is they who will surrender. — Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf Copy Share Image
The person who writes for fools is always sure of a large audience. — Arthur Schopenhauer Copy Share Image
“Am Anfang war Gott? It may have been true, but it was not germane.” — Stephen Craig Copy Share Image
Our fan of the week is... Daisy Alejandra! Congratulations í. To get picked as our next fan of the week, post on… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
'Playing House' works because we're being supremely honest to what we think is funny and not what we think other people think… — Lennon Parham Copy Share Image
I thought to myself, 'why not write a bestseller?' In the first place, more people buy them and more people read them.… — George Burns Copy Share Image
“Am I higher or lower than she? It was always the vital question for Anna: who was superior, and how she could… — Laura L. Sullivan Copy Share Image
“And there is one disconcerting thing about working with a computer – it's likely to talk back to you. You make some… — John Drury Clark Copy Share Image
The first testicular gaurd, the *Cup*, was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means… — Harriet Morgan Copy Share Image
Where so many hours have been spent in convincing myself that I am right, is there not some reason to fear I… — Jane Austen Copy Share Image
“Anything else you want to discuss before we begin?” “Who cuts your hair? You should run them through with their own thinning… — J.A. Rock Copy Share Image
I'm just so, so grateful that I have this fanbase that are so funny and supportive and interested. — Maisie Peters Copy Share Image
Everything is made in China... Except babies... They're made in the VaChina... — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Don't think of yourself as an ugly person.. Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you possess something but you can't give it away, then you don't possess it... it possesses you. — Frank Sinatra Copy Share Image
I believe in respect for the dead; in fact, I could only respect you if you WERE dead. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
For we are so preciously loved by God that we cannot even comprehend it. — Julian of Norwich Copy Share Image
Dear young girls losing their virginity; If your age is on the clock, youre too young for the cock. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you have complete control over the damned thing, you're not going fast enough. — Carroll Smith Copy Share Image
Passion is a strong emotional desire of love and hate to humans or objects — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I tried taking everything in Life with a grain of salt, but after using up two bags of salt, I gave up. — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
If you will it, it is no dream; and if you do not will it, a dream it is and a dream… — Theodor Herzl Copy Share Image
You been raggedy since lil kim fitst came out...its queen bitch not rook not bishop not pawn but queen bitch — Katt Williams Copy Share Image
Boys, if you don't look like Calvin Klein models, don't expect girls to look like Victoria's Secret angels. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“You can be a homicidal madman and hilarious at the same time, you know,” — Michael Buckley Copy Share Image
It's funny because I grew up with the T.V. on 24 hours a day. And the more money I made, the more… — Gaby Hoffmann Copy Share Image
I did a theatrical performance about puns. Really it was just a play on words. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The greatest impurity is ignorance. Free yourself from it. Be pure. — Gautama Buddha Copy Share Image
“If you are reading this, I'm dead. Don't celebrate too much. Jesus is watching.” — Katie Graykowski Copy Share Image
I think they should make Twilight closets and all the cast members can walk out of them. — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
I'm not saying she's whore,I'm just saying she uses the last man's semen to lube up for the next one. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
