People usually say Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Personally, I find it's in big boobs. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Girlfriends are like credit cards, you can't get one unless you already have one. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sometimes in the most tragic situation, something just profoundly funny happens. — David Hyde Pierce Copy Share Image
They're the second best team in the world, and there's no higher praise than that. — Kevin Keegan Copy Share Image
I hope your fine arts degree taught you the fine art of being unemployable. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sometimes we forgive others simply because we still want them in our life. — Nishan Panwar Copy Share Image
That's something a lot of folks don't know about me - I'm pretty darn funny. — Michael Jai White Copy Share Image
“Right. Because if you have trouble putting ketchup and mustard on a hot dog, you should totally move on to saving lives.” — Huntley Fitzpatrick Copy Share Image
“As we all know, as if forever exploiting or attempting to exploit each other were not enough, a group of sane human… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
“Tod crossed his arms over his snug white T-shirt, silently giving me the floor. Fortunately, I was prepared. "Sabine ambushed me in… — Rachel Vincent Copy Share Image
Swimming is good for you, especially if you're drowning. Not only do you get a cardiovascular workout but also you don't die. — Jimmy Carr Copy Share Image
If you would do the best with your life, find out what God is doing in your generation and throw yourself wholly… — Arthur Wallis Copy Share Image
Te Occidere Possunt Sed Te Edere Non Possunt Nefas Est" ("They can kill you, but the legalities of eating you are quite… — David Foster Wallace Copy Share Image
“When they’re together, the world could fall apart around them and they’d never notice or care as long as they have each… — Simone Elkeles Copy Share Image
“Aelin would likely laughed to see him now. The man who had stumbled out of her room after she’d declared that her… — Sarah J. Maas Copy Share Image
People never ask people doing serious music, 'Do you ever think about doing funny music?' — Al Yankovic Copy Share Image
Tequila? It's not even a drink. It's a way for having the cops around without using a phone. — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
There's a difference between delivering real funny and just silly funny. — Lil Rel Howery Copy Share Image
I watch the Discovery Channel, and you know what I've discovered? I need a girlfriend. — Dave Attell Copy Share Image
Forgiveness is setting the prisoner free, only to find out that the prisoner was me. — Corrie Ten Boom Copy Share Image
Heaven goes by favour. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Pencils could be made with erasers at both ends, but what would be the point? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
He that sympathizes in all the happiness of others, perhaps himself enjoys the safest happiness. — Charles Caleb Colton Copy Share Image
I've noticed that everyone who is for abortion has already been born. — Ronald Reagan Copy Share Image
When you lose : Who cares ?! It's just a game ! When you win: HAHAHA IN YOUR FACE LOSER ! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits. — Albert Einstein Copy Share Image
'All boys are the same.' said the 12 year old girl after her 3 day relationship ended. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The summer heat has made me exhausted from trying to dress as slutty as everyone else. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sometimes a lady wants to be woken up with a face between her legs... — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
It is better to be the cause of an effect rather than be the effect that was caused. — Richard Machowicz Copy Share Image
What's closest to your heart is what you talk about, and if God is close to your heart, you'll talk about Him. — Aiden Wilson Tozer Copy Share Image
Guys are like dogs. They keep coming back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a cat one time¦theyre gone. — Yo Yo Copy Share Image
