I no longer believed in the known God of the Bible, but rather in the mysterious God expressed in nature. — Albert Einstein Copy Share Image
“Some stories have to be written because no one would believe the absurdity of it all.” — Shannon L. Alder Copy Share Image
I want to be a shotgun-toting, gangster-robbing black homosexual like Omar on The Wire. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Zayn in a horror movie. *Phone rings* Zayn: Vas Happenin? Killer: I see you. Zayn: … Killer: … Zayn: Do I look good?. — Directioner Copy Share Image
I rented a car. I didn't really need one, I just wanted to make one less available. I wanted one businessman on… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
“And you, Lord Bridgerton," she replied in a tone that could have frozen champagne, "are almost as handsome as your brother." Colin… — Julia Quinn Copy Share Image
'Smart Funny & Black' came about because I felt that black comedians were being considered as only capable of a certain type… — Amanda Seales Copy Share Image
“Oliver has stated many times his dislike of hearing advice from his younger sister, so it is his own fault if he… — Patricia C. Wrede Copy Share Image
“Patch leaned back against the booth and arched his eyebrows at me. The gesture said it all: Pay up. "You got lucky,"… — Becca Fitzpatrick Copy Share Image
Yes, it's funny, isn't it? You try to do what's best for the people you love, and you just end up in… — Kirsten Miller Copy Share Image
I grew up as a very sarcastic person. I was always the class clown, and to date girls, I had to be… — Kurt Fuller Copy Share Image
My mom always said that there would be haters. Not everyone can love ya. — Joel Madden Copy Share Image
It's not what happens to us that defines us. It's what we choose to do with what happens to us that defines… — Elizabeth Smart Copy Share Image
A critic is someone who meddles with something that is none of his business. — Paul Gauguin Copy Share Image
I'm not crazy about reality, but it's the only place to get a decent meal. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
It's been a funny life for me. Sometimes I feel I haven't done a lot of living. — Joanna Cassidy Copy Share Image
“THIS is why I'm single―I'm fat, I'm funny and I won't take it up the bum.” — Rae Earl Copy Share Image
I saw a human pyramid once. It was very unnecessary. It did not need to exist. — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
I’m not saying she was very silly, but one of us was very silly and it wasn’t me. — Elizabeth Gaskell Copy Share Image
Sometimes you need a cigarette. Like after you have sex with a beautiful woman or a confused young man. — Dave Attell Copy Share Image
Whether you're old or young or white or black or however, funny is funny, and people want to see those videos. — GloZell Copy Share Image
As for jokes, I don't think it's necessarily that what I write is funny. — Peter David Copy Share Image
History is often not what actually happened but what is recorded as such. — Henry L. Stimson Copy Share Image
I love how we don't even need to say out loud that I'm your favorite child. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Another way of approaching the thing is to consider it unnamed, unnameable. — Francis Ponge Copy Share Image
Amy Winehouse - her surname's beginning to sound like a description of her liver. — Russell Brand Copy Share Image
Kind, intelligent, loving and hot This describes everything you are not. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
For better or worse, intelligence can come to nothing when emotions hold sway. — Daniel Goleman Copy Share Image
If you don't have anything to say, your photographs aren't going to say much. — Gordon Parks Copy Share Image
Sex is the Universal Language in which nobody speaks; they don't have to. — George Burns Copy Share Image
